28 DECEMBER 21-27, 2023 westword.com WESTWORD | REAL ESTATE | RENTALS | HEALTH WELLNESS | SERVICES | EMPLOYMENT | ADULT | MUSIC | CLASSIFIED | A S K A S T O N E R BY HERBERT FUEGO Dear Stoner: Why don’t we have advent calendars at dispensaries? I see them every- where else: breweries, grocery stores. Even Bath & Body Works has one. Bella Roll-a-Jointski Dear Bella: I, too, am amazed at the number of advent calendars nowadays, hawking everything from chocolate to perfume to dog treats — and equally dismayed at their lack of presence in dispensaries. People fork over cash for all sorts of seasonal goodies, and they’ll pay even more if a goody is stuffed into a cardboard box with Santa printed outside. Dispensary advent calendars are sold in Canada, where the plant is federally legal, but purchase and possession limits block their way in virtually every American state with legal pot. In Colorado, for example, rec- reational customers can only buy one ounce of fl ower, eight grams of hash, or edibles with a total of 800 milligrams of THC per day. We can’t buy all three at once, either. If an advent calendar only had pinner joints, half-grams of hash and individual gummies, that would still be a hard equation to fi gure out for 31 days. Not impossible, mind you, but very diffi cult under current regulations, and expensive at the cash register. Dear Stoner: Does burning incense cover up the smell of weed? Or does it just make people think that you’re smoking weed? As a new renter, I’m worried about the smell of my habits. Paranoid Nostrils Dear Paranoid Nostrils: I have nothing against incense or those who burn it, but it’s not your friend when trying to cover up the smell of weed. It’s only used by stoners and teenagers who don’t know they’re stoners yet. The only places I’ve ever smelled incense were smoke shops, college dorms and bedrooms where pot was being smoked. You’re correct to worry about how neighbors will react, but there are plenty of ways to mask hot leaf. For starters, smoke next to a window or balcony and refrain from joints or blunts during normal hours; consider a vaporizer, too, since the fumes don’t linger as long. A towel under the door with a few strategically located candles or preemptive potpourri certainly helps without building up too much suspicion. (A Bath & Body Works advent calendar can help you there, too.) And if all else fails, you can always throw a bag of fast food next to the door. Grease and French fries cover up anything. Send questions to [email protected]. WARNING: Use of Marijuana Concentrate may lead to: 1. Psychotic symptoms and/or Psychotic disorder (delusions, hallucinations, or difficulty distinguishing reality); 2. Mental Health Symptoms/Problems; 3. Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) (uncontrolled and repetitive vomiting); Cannabis use disorder / dependence, including physical and psychological dependence
