FIND MORE MARIJUANA COVERAGE AT WESTWORD.COM/MARIJUANA MARIJUANA S T RAIN GANG Chem Squeezy won’t stop at juicing your brain dry. The Squeeze BY HERBERT FUEGO BLOWOUT OUNCE SPECIALS! Rec Deals $120/OZ Top Shelf Strains $99/OZ House Shelf Strains $15/G or $30/3G Moonrocks $12/g Wax & Shatter 25% Off Edibles $175/OZ Runtz Med Deals $175/OZ Exotic Strains $62.50/Oz Sale Flower $81.25/Oz Flower $7/g Wax & Shatter $8/g Moonrock $55/OZ Select Strains 25% off Edibles While supplies last! Prices are OTD. ORDER ONLINE THROUGH LEAFLY.COM! 42 1810 S. Broadway, Demver, CO (303) 282-9333 STORE HOURS: Monday - Saturday: 9AM - 9PM; Sunday: 9AM-6PM The business of talent agencies and repre- sentation probably drives more movies, songs and fads than we’d like to believe. Just look up all the shit that CAA gets done behind the scenes, and all of those celebrity friend- ships won’t seem so authentic anymore. Seeing a strain pop up on dispensary menus out of nowhere makes me wonder if the cannabis industry is now in the business of manufacturing stars. Chem Squeezy was relatively unheard of going into 2021, and now it’s everywhere in Colorado. Wholesale grow- ers and big dispensaries are cultivating the strain, and extractors are churning out Chem Squeezy shatter, live resin and THC diamonds. Yet no one is talking about it. Is Chem Squeezy merely a product of commercial interests, or is it worth all the exposure? Probably the former, but even entitled brats can have talent. Chem Squeezy’s origin story is wholesome enough. Boulder breeder FreeWorld Genet- ics backcrossed Chemodo (a hybrid of Chem #4 and Gupta Kush), then crossed that with Lemon Squeeze, which carries OG, Chemdog and Diesel genetics. The combination sprouted a child that yields well during extraction. And if the hash game really likes a strain, a star is born. I was going to force a pun about my brain being squeezed dry of functionality after smoking Chem Squeezy, but that would imply that remnants of my brain are left. In reality, my brain is transported to another dimension, and I can only pray it returns inside of three hours. For better or worse, that’s what we’ve come to expect from most Chem strains, but a sweet spritz of lemon characteristics and healthier-looking buds give Chem Squeezy a little personality, at least, and the potency has to be respected. If you gravitate toward gas and don’t mind going down uncharted paths during your high, then Squeezy is worth all the industry juice behind it. Looks: Mint green with thin, dark fan leaves, Chem Squeezy looks like a beefed-up Sour Diesel. Although wispy and the shape of cirrus clouds, the buds have denser calyxes than Sour Diesel, and the amber trichomes are much more visible. Smell: Chem Squeezy is razor-sharp on the nose, with hints of pine cleaner, lemons and fuel, and sweeter citrus notes lingering behind. The Chem notes are undeniable, but there’s a sweet layer of lemon, as well, mak- ing Chem Squeezy smell more like scented cleaner than gas. Flavor: I taste strong hints of lemon up front with Chem Squeezy, as well as resinous notes of pine and a rubbery, kerosene-like aftertaste. Some cuts are sweeter than oth- ers, even carrying orange characteristics, but the lemon and rubber are always present. Effects: Up, down and all around. Chem Squeezy’s high can be uplifting or relaxing, depending on users and their energy levels, but still extremely hard to predict. Nighttime sessions have left me awake and restless in bed, while 10 a.m. bowls can put me right back to sleep. The euphoria makes paid programming interesting, but the energy roller-coaster and heavy munchies are too scary for me to keep Chem Squeezy around for anything other than a three-day weekend with no plans. Where to fi nd it: We’ve spotted various versions of Chem Squeezy at Alternative Medicine on Capitol Hill, Best Colorado Cannabis, Colfax Pot Shop, Cookies, Denver Dispensary, Flower Power Botanicals, Har- vest House, Herbs4You, the Herbal Cure, Kind Love, L’Eagle, Life Flower, LivWell En- lightened Health, Lova, Lucy Sky, Medicine Man, Mile High Green Cross, Oasis Cannabis Superstores, Rocky Mountain High, Seed & Smith, Silver Stem Fine Cannabis, Solace Meds and Standing Akimbo. For the best rep- resentation of the strain, seek out L’Eagle’s cut, while Rosslyn’s live rosin is a delicious extraction, too. The Greenery Hash Factory combines Chem Squeezy and Durafl ame for a fume-emitting brick of Lebanese hash, but that’s harder to fi nd. Is there a strain you’d like to see profi led? Email [email protected]. DECEMBER 2-8, 2021 WESTWORD | REAL ESTATE | RENTALS | HEALTH WELLNESS | SERVICES | EMPLOYMENT | ADULT | MUSIC | CLASSIFIED | westword.com HERBERT FUEGO MED Accepting EPC $800 LBS EARLY BIRD/HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS 9AM-11AM, 7PM-9PM 10% off Flower, Accessories & Cartridges
