5 MAY 30-JUNE 5, 2024 westword.com WESTWORD | CONTENTS | LETTERS | NEWS | NIGHT+DAY | CULTURE | CAFE | MUSIC | Before she was the face of Denver’s desolate dating scene, whispers of the legend of “Men- ver” lured Emily Balch to Colorado. Frustrated with the romantic prospects in Chicago, Balch packed her bags and headed to Denver in search of the “down-to-earth, good-looking mountain men” who she heard abounded in the Mile High City. Her move eventually landed her on the fi rst Denver- based season of the reality-TV dating show Married at First Sight. Like Balch, the show’s so-called relation- ship experts were optimistic about fi nding love in Denver, boasting on the premiere episode that viewers would soon fl ock to the “heaven on Earth” that is “Menver” to snatch up its hordes of eligible bachelors. But what followed was the least successful season the show has ever had; for the fi rst time, none of the marriages lasted until the reunion episodes, a contestant was left at the altar, and one couple divorced in a near- record thirteen days. “It was a dumpster fire,” says Balch, whose marriage on the show also went up in fl ames. “But I think it is actually a very true depiction of the dating culture right now.” While Denver has topped several “best cities for singles” lists in recent years, many local singles say the city is really the worst. When Married at First Sight’s Mile High experiment failed miserably — and as Love Is Blind began fi lming its fi rst Denver season — residents fl ooded Westword’s comment section with one question: Who the hell thought doing a dating show in Denver was a good idea? Anyone who has dated in Denver could have told you that would be the result, readers said. Denver is the worst place to fi nd love. ... If you’re in a happy relationship, don’t move here, this is where it ends. ... As someone born and raised in Denver, I have come to terms that I will be alone for the rest of my life. But is all of the doom and gloom justi- fi ed? Westword spoke to Denver’s very own relationship experts to fi nd out. Short Answer...Maybe Over the past fourteen years, April Davis has served clients from every corner of the United States through her company, LUMA Luxury Matchmaking. She says that no mat- ter where they live, everyone thinks their city’s dating scene is the reason for their struggling love life. But in Denver’s case, it could be partially true. “[Denver is] worse for people seeking a serious, committed relationship,” Davis says, noting that she’s found people here to be less interested in settling down romantically. “Peter Pan syndrome defi nitely exists in Denver more so than other places.” Denver has developed a reputation as a transitional city, she notes. People move here to have fun and enjoy the outdoors before inevitably moving somewhere else to fi nd a serious relationship and plant roots. Nationally, Colorado had the sixth-most new residents from other states in 2020, and the bulk of the people moving into the state are young adults from Generation Z. Davis offers the stereotypical Coloradan snowboarder as an example of the noncom- mittal men she sees in her line of work. “What do you call a snowboarder with a girlfriend?” Davis jokes. “Homeless” — be- cause getting a place to stay is the only reason they’d be willing to get into a relationship. “You don’t go fi shing for trout in a pool,” Davis says. “A lot of times, women are look- ing for these white-collar, sharp-dressed, successful, driven businessmen. There are not as many of those. ... That man is going to wear Patagonia in Denver.” Erica Arrechea of Cinqe Matchmaking has made a similar observation: While many Coloradans don’t prioritize serious relation- ships, those who do may be too picky for the limited population they’re working with. “Denver is actually a really small town,” Ar- rechea says. “There’s only a very small pool of people who are in your age demographic and who are professional and who are look- ing for something long-term.” Arrechea recently matched an older Den- ver man who is handsome, successful, tall and athletic, but struggled to fi nd a partner on his own because he was “looking for somebody who was just like him,” she says. “There aren’t a whole lot of people who are at his quality and who are exactly what he’s looking for.” Michele Fields has had many over-partic- ular clients in the 35 years that she’s run her Colorado-based matchmaking service, Bon Jour — including some who came to Denver in search of the outdoorsy lifestyle that Davis and Arrechea describe as a detriment to the city’s dating scene. “They didn’t want to meet anyone who didn’t ski, and at their [skill] level and as much as they did,” Fields says. “Which is a ridiculous criteria. That’s one thing. ... The criteria should be morals and values. But for a long, long time, people required who they met to do all the activities they did. That’s just not realistic.” Fields recalls telling a date back in the ’80s that she didn’t ski. “He said, ‘Well, then, why’d you move to Denver?’ What a stupid thing to say,” she laughs. “I mean, get a life.” But she says her clients have this issue less frequently today; she thinks the reduced pickiness is an indica- PHOTO OF EMILY BALCH COURTESY OF LIFETIME continued on page 8
