36 MAY 4-10, 2023 westword.com WESTWORD | REAL ESTATE | RENTALS | HEALTH WELLNESS | SERVICES | EMPLOYMENT | ADULT | MUSIC | CLASSIFIED | A S K A S T O N E R BY HERBERT FUEGO Dear Stoner: Do dispensaries hook up cus- tomers on their birthday? Mine is coming up soon, but I’m broke, so a free joint would make a big difference. Mario Dear Mario: A lot of dispensaries provide the birthday hookup. Oftentimes, it’s simply out of budtender generosity, but there are stores with sales for customers on their birthdays, too. We’ve taken advantage of birthday dis- counts at Apothecary Farms, Emerald Fields, KrystaLeaves and Verts Neighborhood Dis- pensary; we’ve also heard of birthday joint specials at Golden Meds, Lightshade, Medi- cine Man, Rocky Road, Xclusive Cannabis and plenty of other dispensaries. These promo- tions can change or may require registration in a store’s loyalty program before you get a deal, so do some research in advance. Cheap weed is cool, but my favorite birthday deal is at Purple Haze, which is a head shop, not a dispensary. Flash your ID on your birthday in any of Purple Haze’s seven stores in the metro area, and you’ll get a steep discount on a piece of glass, with very few restrictions. If that’s not the time to upgrade your bong selection, I don’t know what is. Happy birthday to you! Dear Stoner: I just moved here and have already enjoyed Colorado’s newfound free- doms involving magic mushrooms. Should I be worried about that showing up on drug tests as I apply for jobs? Spored Panda Dear Panda: Unless you’re applying for some ultra-classifi ed or important job, not really. The most common drug test used by employ- ers is a fi ve-panel urinalysis test, which fl ags cocaine, opiates, amphetamines (meth), phencyclidine (PCP) and, for some reason, THC (cannabis). There are eight-, ten- and twelve-panel tests as well, but they’re too expensive for most workplace drug tests, and even the vast majority of twelve-panel tests don’t check for psilocybin (the psychoactive compound in magic mushrooms). Employers are mostly concerned about the use of popular street drugs such as co- caine, heroin and meth. While chemical compounds in those drugs can be mixed with party psychedelics like ketamine or MDMA, you won’t have to worry about that with natural psychedelic substances like mushroom psilocybin and LSD — and those don’t stay in blood or urine for longer than a couple of days, anyway. So enjoy those Red Rocks shows to the full extent, my friend. The only legal substance out here still keeping people unemployed is weed. . WARNING: Use of Marijuana Concentrate may lead to: 1. Psychotic symptoms and/or Psychotic disorder (delusions, hallucinations, or difficulty distinguishing reality); 2. Mental Health Symptoms/Problems; 3. Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) (uncontrolled and repetitive vomiting); Cannabis use disorder / dependence, including physical and psychological dependence Programmatic Cannabis Network Organic & Local SEO • Website Design Social Media Management • Print Media Get started today with a FREE Digital Audit. marijuanamarketingxperts.com
