26 JANUARY 4-10, 2024 westword.com WESTWORD | REAL ESTATE | RENTALS | HEALTH WELLNESS | SERVICES | EMPLOYMENT | ADULT | MUSIC | CLASSIFIED | FIND MORE MARIJUANA COVERAGE AT WESTWORD.COM/MARIJUANA Velveteen BY H E R B E R T F U E G O One of my favorite cannabis moments in movie history is when Pineapple Express vil- lain Ted Jones blindly names random pounds of weed before putting it out on the street. Rare is the strain that needs no name to be identifi ed, but the distinguishable varieties typically rely on aromatics or colors to stand out. Oreoz was the fi rst to be widely identi- fi ed on trichomes alone, and its child Black Velvet might be second. The most popular version of Black Velvet in Colorado is a hybrid of Oreoz and Devil Driver, which produces striking buds on its own, but I’m concerned about fl avor, not looks. Although Devil Driver’s fruity, vanilla combo is tasty enough, Oreoz is all style and no substance. The trichome-laden strain, subject to a few cease-and-desist letters from the cookie’s trademark owner, is one of the most fl ocked buds I’ve ever seen, but has a taste- less smoke and distillate-like effects. Black Velvet’s similarly coated buds had me more skeptical than impressed, and opening the nug jug to a terpless burp didn’t quell my fears. It would be reductive and inaccurate to call Black Velvet useless. All of those trichomes really do account for something, which is evident after taking a fresh hit from the bong. The high has zero direction, though, and each hit has less of an impact. You’ll get hungry and sleepy eventually, but brain activity and feelings remain fl at. Does that sound like a strain worthy of a compari- son to bouncy, silky velvet? Velveteen, maybe, but a true gentleman knows the difference. Looks: Black Velvet is prone to being taken over by bright-purple spots, but no one’s com- plaining. That only makes the oblong buds, apricot-colored pistils and thick trichome blan- ket look better. In fact, it almost looks too good... Smell: Not exactly known for its olfactory seduction when the jar comes off, Black Velvet is a show-er, not a grower, and probably won’t live up to expectations upon unzipping. There are quiet rosy notes with hints of pine and the occasional cheesy funk, but there’s nothing that demands attention or is worth remembering. Flavor: Although bland overall, Black Velvet has a somewhat fl oral, bitter and piney taste, almost like chewing on fl ower petals. All of those trichomes must come at a cost, however, because this was the least fl avorful smoke I’ve had in months. Effects: Focus and creativity are dismissed immediately after the fi rst hit, but my energy remains largely the same. The high is giggly up front and effective at killing anxiety, but with the stress goes most emotional attachment, too. Lower tolerances (and budgets) will probably appreciate the baseline effects and signifi cant potency, though, especially if all you want is a stiff nighttime or weekend toke. You only need one or two hits of Black Velvet to blast off. Where to fi nd it: We’ve spotted Black Velvet at Alternative Medicine on Capitol Hill, Berkeley Dispensary, Best Colorado Cannabis, Boulder Wellness Cannabis Co., the Dab by Silverpeak, Dank, Den-Rec, Del Mundo Cannabis, the Dispensary Littleton, Doc’s Apothecary, Elements, Good Chemistry, Green Dragon, the Green Solution, Green Val- ley Dispensary, the Herbal Cure, Karing Kind, Kind Love, Jars Cannabis, Laughing Grass, Levels, Life Flower Dispensary, Lightshade, Local Product of Colorado, Lova, Magnolia Road Cannabis Co., Maikoh Holistics, Medi- cine Man, Mile High Dispensary, Oasis Can- nabis Superstores, Police & Thieves, Nature’s Kiss, Rocky Mountain Cannabis, Rocky Road, Shift, Silver Stem Fine Cannabis, SoHi Dis- pensary, Standing Akimbo and Unity Road, but more dispensaries probably carry it. Bloom County, Clearwater Genetics and lion cultivations all have Black Velvet fl ower in Colorado dispensaries right now, while Kaviar and Stratos both sell pre-rolls fi lled with Black Velvet, as well. I’ve also seen Black Velvet hash made by the Greenery Hash Factory, Harmony Extracts and Shift. All three growers have similar and solid (if not a little too dry) cuts, and the Hash Factory’s old-school solventless is always a good bowl topper. Is there a strain you’d like to see profi led? Email [email protected]. Black Velvet takes the term “frosty” to a different level. MARIJUANA S T R A I N G A N G HERBERT FUEGO ....... ....................................... ....................................................................................... ......................................................................................... ...................................................... .......................................... ...... ............................. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
