yourself about why you want to take or continue taking this leap. Initially, I wanted to be in a band because I fell in love with live music as a kid. I had a few opportunities to see bands play, both big and small, and I just loved it. Watching bands play on TV, too, was always a little mesmerizing for me as far back as I remember, and the idea of making music just seemed right. When I saw my friends making music at an early age, it inspired such strong feelings of jealousy and longing that I had to get my fix. It was all consuming, and even though I thought I was playing it cool most of the time, I’m sure I was a bit overbearing. I hope I wasn’t too big of a dork about it. These are the types of things you must consider when thinking of joining or starting a band: • Will it make me a dork, asshole, incom- petent, incontinent, broke, insufferable, a gigantic ego-driven assclown (pay no attention to the picture to the left), or a well-rounded individual striving to build confidence? (Hopefully the latter, but probably not in your first year of being in a band.) • See above, but answer honestly this time. • Do I need to do this because it’s who I am? If so, this is good, mostly, but some- times bad, too. • Do I need to do this because I want attention? This is bad and will probably mean that if your bandmates were your friends prior to forming the band, they may not be afterward. • Can I afford to do this? This is purely financial. • Can I afford not to do this? This is more of an emotional stability kind of question. Another thing you must take into consideration is: What do you offer your potential bandmates? If you’re just a singer (and yes, I know, no one is just a singer), what else can you do to be helpful? There are a lot of jobs to be done in a band, even one that hasn’t even considered the idea of booking shows yet or making a recording. Will you: • Make phone calls to help collect band room rent or get people to practice? • Help carry gear even though you did buy the PA system that never moves from the practice room? • Be on time? • Share honest thoughts about the music? • Never touch the other people’s gear without asking first? • Practice your parts? It’s amazing how many of these simple things are often too difficult for singers and non-singers (i.e., the other peeps) alike. I should probably address the band room rent thing while it’s out in the open. No one wants to be a bill collector. If THE FIRST OF THE MONTH IS ALWAYS AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME, ASSHOLE. your band rents a room, take responsibility for your share and have it at the designated collection time. The first of the month is always at the same fucking time, asshole, and it should not be a surprise. If you are reading this and you are offended by it, you are the asshole I am talking about. This is a small part of being in a band, but an important one. Band rooms cost money. If you’re in a band and have a free place to prac- tice, you better be kicking down some beer or something cool to the person or people letting you practice for free. For a lot of us, we have to rent a room to play in, and that rent is often a nice little chunk of change. When my old band, Hillbilly Devilspeak, started out, our first room that we rented was $225 per month. I’m guessing that room is more than twice that now. We were a three-piece, so do the math, but that was a good chunk for me each month in the early ’90s. If it’s too much for you to carry your weight and pay your share on time, you’re not ready to be in a band. And that’s okay. When you get your shit together, start or join a band, but have the respect for everyone in the group to pay your own way before you do. In a couple of bands I’ve been in with people who I thought were even slightly responsible adults, I’ve had to chase them down at rent time to get their share and it sucked. I’ve even had a few bandmates over the years who literally seemed surprised there was a first day of every month. These were not dumb people, but they seemed to think they could play dumb with me. If you don’t want to pay, then don’t agree to rent a room. Find a band with someone who will let you practice for free. Currently, there are a few places that let you practice hourly, but even those cost a little money. If you can’t afford it, talk to your bandmates about it, and maybe they’ll carry you for a bit. Eventually, though, they will get sick of you, and you’ll be out of a band. You will also have a hard time finding a new band. So, first lesson: Understand why you are forming or joining a band, and be prepared to be a bill collector. 35 phoenixnewtimes.com | CONTENTS | FEEDBACK | OPINION | NEWS | FEATURE | NIGHT+DAY | CULTURE | FILM | CAFE | MUSIC | PHOENIX NEW TIMES SEPT 29TH–OCT 5TH, 2022
