13 Nov 13th-Nov 19th, 2025 phoenixnewtimes.com PHOENIX NEW TIMES | NEWS | FEATURE | FOOD & DRINK | ARTS & CULTURE | MUSIC | CONCERTS | CANNABIS | I’m the primary breadwinner in my family, and losing three paychecks — so far — has hurt. We’ve taken out a $6,000 loan to cover basic expenses, deferred a car payment and put groceries on a PayPal credit card. We used to explore the Arizona wilderness on the weekends, hiking and mountain biking through nature, but that’s a luxury we can no longer afford. We’ve stopped buying expensive organic food and subsist on cheap boxed mac and cheese, ramen and cheese balls. We spend money only on absolute essentials. Our loan will run out soon — we antici- pated it would last us a month and a half, which is just about up. We can’t just keep borrowing money, but once that loan is gone and our credit cards are maxed out, I’m scared about where that will leave us financially. I don’t know what we’ll do if we run out of money before Congress agrees on a deal to reopen the government. I try not to think about it. Instead, I keep myself constantly busy. I’m interning (unpaid) at a nonprofit while studying for a master’s in social work at Grand Canyon University, and I oversee the homeschooling of my children. I bury myself in those pursuits so I don’t have to think about the numbers in our bank accounts. As long as I don’t have to think, my mind doesn’t race and I don’t feel over- whelmed by the cliff we’re rapidly approaching. We might already lose something important. I’m 38, and my husband and I were hoping to have one more child. For years, we’ve undergone expensive IVF treat- ments. We had to turn to embryo adoption and our transfer was scheduled at the end of the year in California, but that seems out of reach, because we can’t afford the treatment right now. I keep holding onto hope that once the government reopens and paychecks resume, we can pick up where we left off. Each passing month is a reminder that time isn’t on my side. We were also hoping to buy a home this spring, but the shutdown may force us to continue paying $2,500 in monthly rent in Surprise. We’ve been saving up for a down payment, but qualifying for a mortgage requires good credit, and this shutdown may be severely damaging mine. Affording a home is hard enough without a government shutdown getting in the way. I can’t help but feel that the government — federal and state — has failed our family. I’ve applied for unemployment benefits from the Texas Workforce Commission because my base wages are technically earned in that state, but I’ve yet to see a cent. Meanwhile, I can’t work until Congress gets its act together. I want to get back to my job, helping veterans in need. I want to not worry about the grocery bill. Until then, though, if you’re in the West Valley, don’t be surprised if you see me waving at your doorbell cam when your delivery order arrives. If you can, please leave a good tip. We could sure use it. As told to Morgan Fischer. Shutdown Woes from p 10 Jessica Holwell’s husband, Myron, picks up the DoorDash orders from restaurants. (Morgan Fischer) Jessica Holwell has missed three paychecks during the government shutdown. (Morgan Fischer)
