5 December 25–30, 2025 miaminewtimes.com | browardpalmbeach.com NEW TIMES | CONTENTS | LETTERS | NEWS | NIGHT+DAY | CULTURE | CAFE | MUSIC | FRANCIS SUAREZ’S NOT-SO-GREATEST HITS The farewell tour. BY ALEX DELUCA, NAOMI FEINSTEIN W hew, what a lifetime these past sixteen years have been. After spending eight years as a city of Miami commissioner, another eight as mayor, and racking up an untold number of airline miles along the way, the term-limited Francis Suarez will finally leave city office on Thursday. Eileen Higgins, the first woman to hold the post and the first Democratic Miami mayor in nearly 30 years, will take his place. Suarez’s tenure as mayor was marked by a handful of ambitious ideas, like turning Miami into the next Silicon Valley and eliminating city taxes through cryptocurrency revenue. But while the tech and crypto bros were mes- merized by Hizzoner himself, Suarez faced scrutiny from lo- cal residents on several issues, including an ethics investiga- tion into his Formula 1 atten- dance and criticism for allegedly cozying up with the Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF). His tenure, however controversial, seems to have paid off, as Suarez will leave office with much deeper pockets. Financial disclosure re- cords revealed that his one-time modest net worth of about $400,000 has soared to more than $5 million during his time as Miami’s mayor. Whether you’ll miss him or not, Suarez left us with a handful of memories worth remem- bering (or cringing at). Without further ado, here’s a roundup of, shall we say, some of the less flattering mo- ments of his tenure: 1. Dignitary Protection Oh boy, did Suarez love to travel as the mayor of Miami. As he jetsetted around the globe, taxpayers were left paying thousands of dollars for his security detail’s flights and accommodations. Suarez, whom New Times likes to call “the Wanderer,” brought City of Miami officers as “dignitary protection” for trips to Qatar, Japan, South Korea, and his many trips around the country related to his short-lived White House bid. During his travels, the mayor’s crew stayed at glitzy hotels, including the five-star Four Seasons Seoul and the Ritz-Carlton Tokyo. And it was all on the city’s dime! 2. Crypto Capital of the World Suarez, who dubbed himself the “most bit- coin-friendly mayor on the planet,” boasted that the revenue generated by MiamiCoin, the now worthless cryptocurrency, could one day replace city taxes. He claimed that the token was generating “several thousand dollars ev- ery ten minutes,” with the potential to reach $60 million over the course of a year. He also proposed allocating a Bitcoin dividend from the MiamiCoin yield via digital wallets to Mi- ami residents. Suarez even wanted local busi- nesses and restaurants to consider accepting MiamiCoin as a form of payment. What he once thought would help alleviate homelessness and increase the police force crashed and burned just two years after launching. In 2023, the only crypto exchange that sup- ported MiamiCoin suspended trading of the Suarez-backed coin. 3. Blink-and-You’ll-Miss-It Presidential Campaign Remember when he ran for president? Probably not. In August 2023, Suarez be- came the first GOP candidate to drop out of the presidential race after polling at 0.2 per- cent and failing to qualify for the first Republican primary debate despite his claims he’d be gracing the stage. Of the more than 220 White House bids by “non-fringe” Democratic and Republican candidates since 1972, Suarez’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it presidential campaign was the sixth shortest, according to University of Minnesota researcher Dr. Eric Ostermeier. Suarez dropped out of he race just two weeks after he falsely claimed that he met the polling qualifications to participate in the first Republican primary debate. As part of his long-shot presidential bid, Suarez shelled out $20 Visa gift cards to each donor who contrib- uted at least $1 to his fundraising page. 4. Weeble During his very brief presidential campaign, Suarez was stumped when conservative talk show host Hugh Hewitt asked him about the Uyghurs, a Turkic ethnic group persecuted by the Chinese government. “Hewitt asked, “Will you be talking about the Uyghurs in your campaign?” “The what?” Suarez asked with a chuckle. “The Uyghurs,” Hewitt repeated, to which Suarez responded, “What’s a Uyghur?” “Okay, we’ll come back to that,” Hewitt said. “You gotta get smart on that.” He promised to read up on the Uyghurs: “I’ll look at — what did you call it, a Weeble?” 5. Man About Town In August 2024, Suarez photobombed the closing ceremony of the Esports World Cup in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia — sitting in the front row several seats down from Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, heir to the Saudi throne. Miami residents may have never known that their mayor was abroad if he hadn’t been caught on a livestream, considering he had posted an Instagram story of a sailboat ma- rina with the caption, “Miami afternoons never disappoint,” just the day before. 6. Formula 1 Ethics Scandal In August 2023, roughly three months after Suarez was seen shmoozing with celebrities and wealthy business leaders at the 2023 Mi- ami Grand Prix and dinner events tied to the race, immigration activist Thomas Kennedy filed a complaint with the Florida Commission on Ethics alleging that Suarez received im- proper compensation in the form of pricey event tickets from Ken Griffin, head of hedge fund Citadel, while the firm was seeking to re- locate its headquarters to a yet-to-be-built sky- scraper in Miami. The commission later dismissed the complaint, finding that he reim- bursed the ticket costs and that there was “no probable cause to believe” he accepted gifts in exchange for political favors. 7. Rules for Thee But Not for Me During the COVID-19 pandemic, the mayor received sharp criticism after he posted a photo on Instagram of a family dinner party he attended to celebrate his parents’ 44th wed- ding anniversary. None of the ten people in the photo were wearing face masks. “Way too many people who aren’t from the same household not social distancing or wear- ing masks in this picture,” an Instagram user commented. “Seriously, bad judgment here.” This wasn’t the first time Suarez was criti- cized for breaking COVID-19 protocols. In May 2020, he was photographed inside a packed restaurant just a few days after he held a press conference to discuss a surge in COVID-19 cases. 8. $1 Million Promise In October 2021, Suarez staged a press confer- ence to present an oversized $1 million check to the Circle of Brotherhood nonprofit for its work in predominantly Black neighborhoods. The ceremony appeared to be one big photo op, as the nonprofit waited nearly two years to receive the promised contribution. The mayor was seemingly nowhere to be found as the city commission held up the funds, and the Circle of Brotherhood leaders continued to speak out until the City of Miami finally approved the contribution in March 2023. 9. Questionable Key Club You probably wouldn’t want someone who slapped their wife or was accused of sexual as- sault anywhere near your house, let alone with a key. And yet, during his time in office, Suarez made a habit of handing such people honorary keys to the city. There was the time he awarded a key to self-help icon Tony Robbins, accused of sexual assault by at least ten women, one of them a minor. Then there was UFC president and CEO Dana White, caught on video slapping his wife in 2013. And who could forget his workout pals and right-wing YouTube pranksters the Nelk Boys? | METRO | Miami Mayor Francis Suarez. Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images
