12 November 21-27, 2024 miaminewtimes.com | browardpalmbeach.com New Times | music | cafe | culture | Night+Day | News | letters | coNteNts | Month XX–Month XX, 2008 miaminewtimes.com MIAMI NEW TIMES | MUSIC | CAFE | FILM | ART | STAGE | NIGHT+DAY | METRO | RIPTIDE | LETTERS | CONTENTS | Where’s the Beef? A famous Colombian hot spot opened in Miami Beach. I couldn’t get in. BY LUIS GOMEZ H ow long have I been waiting for Andrés Carne de Res to open on Lincoln Road? Three years. I’ve visited the clubstau- rant’s (club-restaurant hybrid) locations in Colombia half a dozen times and was excited to read in 2021 that the lively franchise known for its kitschy decor was coming to the U.S. market. How long did I wait to get seated at the new restaurant on Friday? Three hours. The wait would have been even longer, but I left after realizing that the waitlist that they put me on wasn’t actually a real thing that they used. The final straw was when the host- ess who put me on this list forgot that I had arrived two and a half hours before the cou- ple she had just seated. I don’t know how that’s possible. I pointed this out to her both before and after she seated them. (For the record, they weren’t VIPs and didn’t have a reserva- tion.) But, sometimes, you just have to take the “L” and call it a night. And to be fair, the four-floor Andrés — whose top three floors were closed on Friday — just opened its doors for the first time on Halloween. Not everything is going to run smoothly right away. Andrés Jaramillo and his wife, Maria Stella Ramirez, opened the first Andrés loca- tion in Chía, Colombia, in 1982. The restau- rant went on to expand to Bogota, Medellin, Cartagena, and Santa Marta, opening mini versions along the way. One of the reasons the restaurant is so popular is its versatility. An- drés has long been a go-to spot for families, tourists, birthdays, the big game, live music, and late-night partying. The main draw, in my opinion, is the expe- rience. In addition to the live music on stage, there are actors in impressive makeup and costumes bouncing around from table to ta- ble in character. The costumes change regu- larly and, during my visits, included everything from Kiss to Pan’s Labyrinth. As a heads up, the actors place Colombian flag sashes on guests who are celebrating a birth- day or are from out of town. I saw a few pa- trons wearing these sashes as they left the Miami Beach locale on Friday. Andrés has also been known to sprinkle in a few circus acts as well. Stilt walkers will stroll past tables, and jugglers will perform in whatever open space they can find. During a visit to the Bogota location in June, I wit- nessed one aerial artist in chains hanging from the ceiling. (Sadly, dancer Laura Daniela Villamil made national headlines in August when she suffered significant burns to her body during a performance involving fire at Andrés in Chía. Villamil has spent more than two months in intensive care.) As at the other Andrés locations, the Miami Beach restaurant offers a lengthy menu filled with dishes from various regions of Colombia. Some of the more popular options are the lomo al trapo ($48), which is grilled beef ten- derloin wrapped in cloth; chicharrones with guacamole ($22); and the ajiaco soup ($28). You can also expect five types of empanadas, including a wheat vegetarian version ($3.50). I’ve always felt that the entertainment and atmosphere at Andrés are more memo- rable than the actual food, but the cuisine does have its share of fans, including the World’s 50 Best Restaurants. Andrés in Chía was ranked No. 55 on the website’s presti- gious list of the best restaurants in Latin America in 2021. It should be noted that the newest Andrés isn’t as big and spacious as some of the loca- tions in Colombia, despite coming in at 10,000 square feet, including the gift shop and rooftop terrace. But it does appear to have a somewhat similar decor (judging mostly by the photos and videos because, well, you know). Guests will notice a large replica cow by the entrance that looks like it was made out of a disco ball. These cows — each with a dis- tinct artistic look — are a staple at Andrés lo- cations. Another recurring theme in the decor: hearts. You not only see them in the restaurant’s logo but also on the light fixtures. Those interested in checking out the new Miami Beach location are strongly encour- aged to make reservations via OpenTable. There was no mention of OpenTable or a phone number on the Andrés Miami Insta- gram page last week when I was preparing to visit — nobody responded to my direct mes- sage or emails either — but an OpenTable link has since been added to the restaurant’s Ins- tagram bio. Andrés also uses the OpenTable app for its waitlist — or at least it claims to do so. If the host or hostess offers you this option, that probably means you need to find somewhere else to get your empanadas. Andrés Carne de Res. 455 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-701-1335; andrescarnederes.com. Sunday through Wednesday noon to 11 p.m. and Thursday through Saturday noon to 2 a.m. [email protected] ▼ Café World Red Eye A photo taken by World Red Eye, as I was unable to dine at the restaurant after a lengthy wait. HOW LONG DID I WAIT TO GET SEATED AT THE NEW RESTAURANT ON FRIDAY? THREE HOURS.
