3 September 25 - OctOber 1, 2025 miaminewtimes.com | browardpalmbeach.com NEW TIMES | CONTENTS | LETTERS | NEWS | NIGHT+DAY | CULTURE | CAFE | MUSIC | MONTH XX–MONTH XX, 2008 miaminewtimes.com MIAMI NEW TIMES | CONTENTS | LETTERS | RIPTIDE | METRO | NIGHT+DAY | STAGE | ART | FILM | CAFE | MUSIC | ▼ SEAQUARIUM RIP BIMINI BOTTLENOSE DOLPHIN DIES AT MIAMI SEAQUARIUM. BY NAOMI FEINSTEIN A s Miami-Dade County tries to evict Miami Seaquarium af- ter a slew of animal safety vi- olations, another animal has died at the embattled marine park on Virginia Key. The county announced on September 17 that a “22-year-old chronically ill” dolphin died at the facility the day prior. A Miami- Dade County Parks, Recreation, and Open Spaces spokesperson said the dolphin’s re- mains will be sent to the University of Florida. Valerie Greene, a former SeaWorld trainer and animal rights advocate, tells New Times that the deceased is actually a 26-year-old dol- phin named Bimini, who routinely suffered from breathing problems and broken ribs be- fore her death. Greene says that Bimini was di- agnosed with mucormycosis, a fungal infection in the lungs caused by airborne dust particles, when she was about 6 years old. Bimini’s for- mer trainers told Greene that though Bimini recovered from the infection, she suffered from longstanding respiratory issues as a result. “I am sure she was miserable leading up to her death,” Greene adds. This latest fatality comes after the county terminated the facility’s lease at the publicly owned 38-acre site last year, citing the park owner’s “long and troubling history of viola- tions.” Before the lease termination, the park faced intense scrutiny, especially in the wake of the death of Lolita the orca, AKA Tokitae, in August 2023. She had been confined to a small tank since the 1970s. The eviction is making its way through the court system, as the park owner, the Dolphin Company, filed for bankruptcy in March 2025. Greene provided New Times with multiple reports documenting Bimini’s health struggles. A July 2023 U.S. Department of Agricul- ture (USDA) report stated that Bimini, then 23 years old, had numerous bilateral rib frac- tures caused by attacks by other dolphins. “Housing incompatible animals together can negatively impact their health and wel- fare and may cause serious injury and even death,” the report said. “Marine mammals must not be housed in the same enclosure nor be housed near other animals that cause them unreasonable stress, discomfort or in- terfere with their good health.” A follow-up October 2023 report con- cluded that Bimini and another dolphin at the marine park had ingested nails and bolts. “On the morning of 10/14/23, one dolphin ‘Bimini’ in Dolphin Harbor presented to trainers with a broken bolt in her mouth,” the report reads. A January 2024 USDA inspection found that Bimini’s medical history required “spe- cialized diagnostic procedures for adequate veterinary care” that the facility could not provide. The report stated that a CT scan re- vealed multiple bilateral rib fractures at vari- ous stages of healing. Bimini also experienced serious breathing problems that the facility was ill-equipped to handle due to a lack of proper equipment and trained staff. “Atlantic bottlenose dolphins with respira- tory abnormalities often experience a rapid decline in health, which can result in pneu- monia and death,” the report warned. On January 19, 2024, the USDA filed a “No- tice of Intent to Confiscate Animals” to MS Leisure, a subsidiary of the Dolphin Company. The department planned to seize Bimini, a 21-year-old bottlenose dolphin, along with a blue and gold macaw and a sea lion, if the Dol- phin Company failed to address the animals’ suffering uncovered in the federal inspection. Following the notice, Miami Seaquarium said that its staff was working with the USDA to address concerns regarding the four ani- mals’ care. “As confirmed by the USDA, Miami Seaquarium is in compliance with federal Animal Welfare Act regulations,” the January 2024 press release stated. “It’s important to clarify that there was no confiscation, and MSQ’s professional staff continues to care for its animals with the same passion, knowl- edge, and dedication they do every day.” In a press release announcing the dol- phin’s death, the Dolphin Company said Bi- mini had a “pronounced tracheal stenosis, explaining her respiratory difficulties.” The company added that Bimini “suddenly and unexpectedly developed a lack of appetite” on Sunday, September 14. “Observations of pattern swimming evolved into visible signs of discomfort, ab- normal posture, and shortness of breath,” the press release reads. “Lab results were incon- clusive, and on Monday, September 15, first aid was administered. Sadly, on Tuesday morning, Bimini passed away.” Bottlenose dolphins like Bimini have a lifespan between 40 and 60 years, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Ad- ministration. The Dolphin Company did not return New Times’ request for comment. [email protected] | RIPTIDE | GET MORE NEWS & COMMENTARY AT MIAMINEWTIMES.COM/NEWS Bimini (right) swims in the water with her son Cayman (far left) and Cayman’s father, Noel, in the center. Photo by a former trainer ▼ MEDIA HELP WANTED MIAMI HERALD SEEKS AI-ASSISTED REPORTER. BY ALEX DELUCA B ack in October 2021, the Miami Herald joined a wave of news outlets experi- menting with artificial intelligence when it introduced a new writer to its real estate beat: the Miami Herald Bot. Over the next two years, the bot authored hundreds of stories for Miami’s daily newspaper of record, covering real estate sales, storm up- dates, and even dabbling in food reporting, be- fore vanishing from the website in late 2023. It rose again like a Phoenix from the ashes in Au- gust 2024 (well, sorta), when a new byline ap- peared: the Miami Herald Hurricane Bot, which has since pub- lished dozens of storm-related stories for the paper. But while the bots have churned out copy left and right for the paper, it appears the Herald is looking for an, erm, human touch. In late July, McClatchy Media, the Herald’s parent company, began advertising for a new role: a “Broward AI-Assisted Reporter,” or a real- life journalist tasked with producing and over- seeing the newspaper’s AI-generated content, including real estate news, breaking news, and community event listings. “McClatchy Media is seeking a curious, tech- savvy journalist to join our team as an AI-assisted reporter, a new role focused on using AI-powered tools to generate, manage and enhance high-vol- ume content across multiple local news sites in Broward County,” the job listing reads. According to the listing, the reporter will use AI tools to “generate structured, templated arti- cles from databases, listings, or feeds; review, fact-check and edit AI-generated con- IT APPEARS THE HERALD IS LOOKING FOR AN, ERM, HUMAN TOUCH. ▼ HIGHER ED WHIZ KID ‘FIU PISSER’ TERRORIZES MIAMI CAMPUS. BY ALEX DELUCA F lorida colleges and universities have weathered all sorts of chal- lenges in recent years: budget cuts, shady power grabs, and even the occa- sional Muscovy duck-beating scandal. But none of that could prepare Florida International University (FIU) for its latest threat: the “FIU Pisser.” The anonymous TikTok account @thefiu- pisser — whose bio stresses they’re “NOT AFFILIATED WITH FIU” and “JUST LIKE PISSING” — has recently uploaded a handful of videos showing a mystery figure prowling FIU’s Modesto A. Maidique Campus in West- chester and marking their territory under the cover of darkness on campus fixtures like the bronze panther statue and Pitbull Stadium (yes, the one named after Mr. 305 himself). “Thought a walk would be nice, had to piss,” @thefiupisser captioned a recent video, which shows them dousing an out- door walkway with their trademark stream. With nearly 2,000 followers and more than 40,000 likes across just five posts, the TikTok account has quickly built a follow- ing. Most of their clips appear to feature the phantom pisser relieving themselves (or at least pretending to) across different corners of campus. The FIU Pisser is part of a broader Tik- Tok trend that has spawned imitators na- tionwide (see: the Penn State Pisser and the Syracuse Pisser). One student at Nich- olls State University in Louisiana was re- portedly arrested after joining the fad. Closer to home, Florida Atlantic Univer- sity, the University of Miami, and Miami Dade College have all had their own so- called pissers. As with any good villain story, there’s a hero here, too. Enter @fiupisserhunter: another anony- mous account that has emerged to play Batman to the pisser’s Joker. In a video recently posted by user @ dannyfanumm, a man clad head-to-toe in a hot pink superhero suit and matching cape is shown perched atop a campus roof like a vigilante. Other clips posted by the @ fiupisserhunter account show the universi- ty’s knight in neon armor scanning the campus for the pisser. “He was just here...” @fiupisserhunter captioned a recent clip showing a random bench on campus. As with the other campus pissers na- tionwide, it’s unclear whether the FIU Pisser is actually emptying their bladder around campus or, as many have theorized, simply spraying water from a water bottle. Neither the pisser themselves nor a uni- versity spokesperson responded to New Times’ requests for comment. >> p6
