4 August 7-13, 2025 miaminewtimes.com | browardpalmbeach.com NEW TIMES | MUSIC | CAFE | CULTURE | NIGHT+DAY | NEWS | LETTERS | CONTENTS | MONTH XX–MONTH XX, 2008 miaminewtimes.com MIAMI NEW TIMES | MUSIC | CAFE | FILM | ART | STAGE | NIGHT+DAY | METRO | RIPTIDE | LETTERS | CONTENTS | ▼ THE INTERNET COGNITIVE DISSONANCE SOME ETSY SHOPS PLAY BOTH SIDES OF THE ALLIGATOR ALCATRAZ FENCE. BY B. SCOTT MCLENDON I f there’s one thing we love in this coun- try, it’s a one-stop shop. Case in point: Walmart offers car servicing, pharma- cies, eye doctors, barbers, and almost any household item you need. And while we’re desensitized to the ab- surdity of condoms displayed mere aisles away from Pokémon cards, watching sales- people hawk merchandise representing dia- metrically opposing viewpoints on matters like human rights can still be jarring. Etsy merchant DigisarahArt’s online shop should come with a whiplash warning, with several cartoonish pro-Alligator Alcatraz prints on sale right above one with a “Stewart & Col- bert 2028” shirt, depicting famous liberal talk show hosts Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert as presidential candidates. That’s right: If you’re looking for a gift for your liberal cousin and your xenophobic aunt, we’ve got the shop for you. In late June, Colbert made his thoughts on Alligator Alcatraz clear during his opening monologue on The Late Show, saying, “ICE is constantly devising terrible new ways to treat immigrants.” Alligator Alcatraz “sounds like the name of a game on sale for 99 cents in the Nintendo eS- hop. Keep in mind, the actual Alcatraz was a notorious prison surrounded by treacherous, shark-infested waters to contain America’s most dangerous criminals. Alligator Alcatraz is just to hold regular folks with uncertain immi- gration status that ICE has been sweeping off the streets and stuffing into unmarked vans.” Many believe Colbert’s sharp criticism of President Donald Trump on issues like Alli- gator Alcatraz led executives at CBS and par- ent company Paramount to cancel the late-night talk show, which first aired in 1993 with David Letterman. CBS and Paramount executives told the Associated Press (AP) the cancellation was “purely a financial decision against a challenging backdrop in late night.” Colbert and other critics, however, have suggested the cancellation is related to Para- mount’s pending sale to Skydance Media, a deal hinging on Trump’s approval, according to the AP. DigisarahArt’s merch includes print scans for T-shirts with apparent AI depictions of al- ligators — one wearing a red hat with the words “Make Alligators Great Again” around it, and another with an alligator in immigra- tion enforcement gear. Colbert and Stewart, two of the most fa- mous liberal talking heads nationwide, fea- ture just below the Alligator Alcatraz merch. Another shirt print on the same page features former Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, another famous Democrat. The shop is one of several on Etsy selling Alligator Alcatraz merch following the deten- tion center’s opening earlier this month. The Etsy retailers follow closely behind the GOP, which began selling Alligator Alcatraz merch before the facility’s opening. In doing so, Etsy sellers have spurred calls for boycotts, media brand Fast Company re- ported. Many argue that the sales are in direct violation of Etsy’s discrimination and hateful content policy. “Etsy connects thoughtful consumers around the world with creative entrepre- neurs,” the policy states. “It’s an ecosystem where people of all backgrounds inspire each other and build relationships through making, selling, and buying unique goods. We want ev- eryone on Etsy to feel safe, and our priority is fostering an inclusive environment.” Etsy prohibits using its services to dis- criminate against people based on race, color, ethnicity, or national origin. Neither Etsy nor DigisarahArt returned New Times’ requests for comment by the time of publication. Shirt peddlers appear to be trivializing what some call a “humanitarian crisis” by selling Alligator Alcatraz-themed clothing that could pass as college football T-shirts and iron-on patches. Some of the wildest shirts include a jacked Donald Trump riding a gator in front of the Golden Gate Bridge and the original Alcatraz, a fully Disney-fied cartoon alligator wearing a red MAGA hat, and various muscular gators in police garb. | RIPTIDE | GET MORE NEWS & COMMENTARY AT MIAMINEWTIMES.COM/NEWS Several Etsy shop owners are selling merch with apparent AI-created images of Alligator Alcatraz. Screenshot from Etsy ▼ HELP WANTED THE NEW DEPORTATION ECONOMY FEDERAL IMMIGRATION AGENCIES ARE ON A SOUTH FLORIDA HIRING SPREE. BY B. SCOTT MCLENDON J ob seekers, look alive: U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) are ac- tively recruiting in South Florida amid recent high-profile activity involving both agencies. CBP aims to hire more than 20 border patrol agents, officers, pilots, and support staff across South Florida, with openings in Boca Raton, Fort Lauderdale, Hollywood, and West Palm Beach, according to recent Snagajob postings. On Wednesday morning, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security urged people to apply through a post on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, through incentives like a $50,000 signing bonus and student loan for- giveness. “Your country needs you,” the post reads. “Join the fight to deport criminal illegal aliens from the United States.” Below the text is an Uncle Sam-esque photo of President Donald Trump wearing a maroon baseball cap with a white symbol while giving a salute. “Defend the Homeland,” the magazine-style photo reads. “Join ICE today.” As of Thursday morning, there are 15 ICE openings in the Miami area, according to USA- Jobs, an official website of the U.S. government. As of Wednesday, ICE job listings included nurs- ing, health administration, law, and enforcement roles, with salaries ranging from around $50,000 to $171,000. Available positions include a clinical nurse manager earning up to $150,000, criminal investigators with salaries reaching $144,000, attorneys making up to $138,000, and an auditor role paying as much as $171,000 annually. According to CBP press officer Tammy Mel- vin, the sudden wave of job expansion is due to increased funding from the One Big Beautiful Bill (OBBB) that Trump signed into law in early July. The OBBB allo- cates $4.1 billion to CBP for hiring and training additional officers. “With the One Big Beautiful Bill signed into law, CBP can hire thousands more agents and invest in cutting- edge technology — from tunnel detection to ad- vanced communications and surveillance tools,” Melvin told New Times in a prepared statement. According to Melvin, United States Border Patrol, CBP’s law enforcement arm, has seen 34,650 applications over the past six months, an increase of 44 percent compared to the same period last year. Melvin also noted that CBP has recorded 25,243 border encounters nationwide in June, a record low for the agency, which she attributed to “strong leadership and real border security.” CBP has become a fixture in South Florida in recent months, thanks to Trump’s immigration crackdown, the construction of Alligator Alca- traz in the Everglades, and Gov. Ron DeSantis and Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier pressuring cities to sign 287(g) agreements giv- ing local police the power to act as federal immi- gration officers. Additional reporting by Alexander Luzula. [email protected] CBP HAS BECOME A FIXTURE IN SOUTH FLORIDA IN RECENT MONTHS.
