13 April 18-24, 2024 miaminewtimes.com | browardpalmbeach.com New Times | Contents | Letters | news | night+Day | CuLture | Cafe | MusiC | Month XX–Month XX, 2008 miaminewtimes.com MIAMI NEW TIMES | CONTENTS | LETTERS | RIPTIDE | METRO | NIGHT+DAY | STAGE | ART | FILM | CAFE | MUSIC | High Maintenance The best places to dine in Miami when you’re stoned. BY NICOLE LOPEZ-ALVAR P lease permit us to be, um, blunt: This isn’t New Times’ typical food guide of Miami. When the munchies strike, there’s no better place to be than in the 305 on your way to your favorite res- taurant or dessert shop — in an Uber — either solo or with your (bud)dies. That feeling of anticipation and excitement, knowing you’re about to scarf down some greasy food or an insane, mile-high dessert, is unlike any other. Because if there’s one thing all stoners agree on, it’s that a high is only as good as what’s available to consume after several deep bong rips. (Not that we’d know.) Scroll down, gather your friends in the group text, and order your Uber. Below, listed in alphabetical order, behold the ultimate New Times guide to eating out in Miami when you’ve come down with a seri- ous case of the munchies. Big Pink 157 Collins Ave., Miami Beach 305-532-4700 mylesrestaurantgroup.com/big-pink Everything at Big Pink is as a true diner oughta be: belly-busting portions, with single items typically serving two to four people; prole- tarian prices; late hours; and breakfast anytime. The timeless comfort food is all housemade from scratch — even the thick potato chips and spicy ketchup — and offers some sexy up- grades: for instance, the “Pink Daddy Mack” burger with better beef and a brioche bun; imaginative salads; and elegant crunchy/creamy polenta fries. Cheeseburger Baby 1505 Washington Ave., Miami Beach 305-531-7300 cheeseburgerbaby.net Cheeseburger Baby’s current owner, Stepha- nie Vitori, started as a delivery driver at the restaurant before taking over almost two de- cades ago. The little burger joint, located on Washington Avenue in South Beach, gained worldwide fame after Jay-Z and Beyoncé were spotted enjoying a few sandwiches after hours. The restaurant’s motto is simple: Serve great burgers to people into the wee hours of the morning, at reasonable prices. The burgers are fresh off the griddle, the beer is cold, and the service is friendly. Plus, it’s open from noon to 4 a.m. 365 days a year. Yes, every single day. Farm Stores Locations across South Florida farmstores.com If getting out of the car isn’t for you when you get the case of the munchies, Farm Stores is the only drive-through market that delivers piping hot, freshly baked treats right when you order them through the drive-thru. So, skip the stale pastries at a grocery store and treat yourself to the real deal. Imagine pulling up to FarmStores and grabbing a warm, freshly baked, and crisp French baguette without leaving the comfort of your car. And while stoned? Miami’s “La Va- quita” (what true Miamians call Farm Stores) drive-thru experience is the most convenient munchie experience in the 305. Fireman Derek’s Locations in Wynwood and Coconut Grove 786-703-3623 firemandereks.com Years ago, Derek Kaplan was a real-life Miami fireman who made pies with his dad on the weekends. The pies, baked in an industrial kitchen in Wynwood and sold from a food truck and a pizzeria in Coconut Grove, were a sensation. Now Kaplan is one of Miami’s most sought-after bakers, making pies for some of Miami’s best restaurants. Kaplan also sells his pies, freshly baked cookies, cakes, and ice cream sandwiches at shops in Wynwood and Coconut Grove. Kaplan’s fruit pies are massive affairs, with each one requiring several pounds of fruit. His pièce de résistance is the “Crack Pie,” which features a thick, sticky layer of salted caramel dusted with a generous blast of powdered sugar. The magic lies in the space where the crust and filling come together in a gooey, savory, otherworldly concoction that melts in your mouth and sticks to your teeth. Open from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily. Mary’s Coin Laundry (Mary’s Cafe) 2542 SW 27th Ave., Miami 305-443-6672 Mary’s Coin Laundry and Cafeteria opened in 1982 as a simple washhouse. It was con- verted from a plant nursery and Bahamian- style wooden shack that had been around for 55 years. Owner Victor Sanchez, a construc- tion worker and son-in-law of the Mary for whom the place is named, noticed that young people preferred to wash their clothes at night, so he added a coffee window. Through the years, the building has grown, and the coffee window has become a café. Around 2001, the joint began 24-hour service, and to- day, it’s a beacon for late-night grub. It at- tracts everyone from cops to drunks and viejitos to kids and early risers. Whether you feel like downing a medianoche sandwich of ham, roast pork, Swiss cheese, pickles, and mustard, sipping a cup of café con leche, or- dering a choripan, or slurping a deliciously creamy mamey milkshake, this is the only place in Miami where you can catch a whiff of detergent and butter in the wee hours — which, oddly enough, makes it oh so very 305. Night Owl Cookies Locations across South Florida nightowlcookieco.com Night Owl Cookies founder Andrew Gonza- lez has built a multimillion-dollar business by selling doughnut-size cookies in dozens of delicious and munchie-approved flavors. Most nights, lines of eager customers hungry for “Ave Marias” — made with guava dough, white chocolate chips, and cream cheese frosting — swirl around his Calle Ocho store- front. Other popular cookie orders include “S’mores,” “Cinnamon Toast Crunch,” and the “Dirty Diana,” which has chocolate dough stuffed with Nutella. Hours are 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday through Thursday and 11 a.m. to 3 a.m. Friday and Saturday, the perfect hours to go with the munchies. Pinecrest Bakery Locations across South Florida pinecrestbakery.com Pinecrest Bakery is a 24-hour Cuban-Ameri- can bakery chain in South Florida that truly makes some of the best pastelitos, cafecitos, bocaditos, sandwichitos, you name it. Whether you’re there ordering at 3 p.m. or 3 a.m., expect a line out the door because they’re that good. Since the bakery chain opened in December 2012, with lines reach- ing out the door on early weekend mornings soon after opening, the bakery realized it had found a sweet spot in the hearts and homes of Miami. Its first location was in Pinecrest, and soon, the bakery began to open locations around South Florida. The perfect munchies- satisfying menu items include guava and cheese pastelitos, empanadas, and tequeños. [email protected] ▼ Café Cheeseburger Baby photo Cheeseburger Baby WHEN THE MUNCHIES STRIKE, THERE’S NO BETTER PLACE TO BE THAN IN THE 305.
