4 January 23-29, 2025 miaminewtimes.com | browardpalmbeach.com New Times | music | cafe | culture | Night+Day | news | letters | coNteNts | MONTH XX–MONTH XX, 2008 miaminewtimes.com MIAMI NEW TIMES | CONTENTS | LETTERS | RIPTIDE | METRO | NIGHT+DAY | STAGE | ART | FILM | CAFE | MUSIC | ▼ MIAMI IF TREES COULD TALK PROPOSED CITY ORDINANCE WOULD MAKE IT EASIER FOR DEVELOPERS TO CHOP DOWN TREES. BY ALEX DELUCA In the City of Miami, where the palm trees sway, A big shiny plan has entered the fray. They’re talking of laws, of rules to be made, To make it easier to chop down trees — oh, what a crusade! O n a mid-January Tuesday, more than a dozen tree lovers gath- ered at Miami City Hall to fight a proposed ordinance that would make it easier to cut down trees. Introcuded in October by city commissioner Miguel Angel Gabela, the ordi- nance would allow residents to cut down trees without a permit if they’re non-native, less than 18 inches in diameter, damaged by an act of God, or in the way of construction activity. It notably also gives developers the same right as homeowners to cut down trees. While commissioners say the ordinance would help streamline the permitting pro- cess, which Gabela himself called “anti- quated,” opponents say it favors developers at the expense of the environment. “The proposed changes would expand ex- emptions and loosen the criteria presently re- quired for tree removal, making it easier for property owners and developers to destroy healthy, life-giving trees,” the Tropical Audu- bon Society, one of several environmental groups that has opposed the ordinance, wrote on its website. It continues: “Any future changes to the City of Miami Tree Ordinance should en- hance, not weaken, environmental protec- tions, and include fact-based input from all community stakeholders.” Grove Watch Group, a collection of Coco- nut Grove residents, is also keeping an eye on the ordinance. It summarized the meeting on its Facebook page, noting that “many tree ex- perts, professionals, and residents spoke out against the current proposal.” “Opponents of the proposal will continue to work together to expose the weaknesses of the proposed ordinance and gain support for im- provements,” the Facebook post goes on to say. A vote on the ordinance, which was first introduced in October, was deferred once again to the next city commission meeting on January 23. Gabela, who proposed the controversial ordinance, was on vacation and didn’t attend Tuesday’s meeting. District 2 Commissioner Damian Pardo was the only commissioner in attendance. In a January 16 press release, the Down- town Neighbors Alliance (DNA) called on Pardo to take a stance against the proposed ordinance. DNA president James Torres wrote in the release that the meeting led by commissioner Pardo was an “unnecessary spectacle that failed to address the core issues threatening Miami’s tree canopy.” “This meeting was nothing more than a performance,” Torres wrote. “Residents have already made their voices loud and clear — they oppose this harmful ordinance. Pardo’s role is to act, not distract with theatrics. Mi- ami needs leadership, not another round of political posturing.” New Times left a message with Pardo and will update the story when we hear back from the commissioner. As reported by WLRN’s Joshua Ceballos, tree removal under the current system can sometimes be a lengthy process that requires several permitting approvals and fees. If a per- mit isn’t granted, residents can appeal but must pay an accompanying fee upwards of $800. “We’re trying to cut through the red tape of when you can trim a tree,” Gabela told WLRN. “In my area, not everybody has the money or the know-how to get permits right now.” [email protected] | RIPTIDE | GET MORE NEWS & COMMENTARY AT MIAMINEWTIMES.COM/NEWS Tree-loving residents gathered at Miami City Hall yesterday to fight a proposed ordinance that would make it easier for developers to cut down trees. New Times photo-illustration (Source images by Joel (The Lorax) and Phillip Pessar (Miami City Hall) ▼ SUNSHINE STATE HAWK2AH LICENSE PLATES TOO SMUTTY FOR FLORIDA ROADWAYS. BY NAOMI FEINSTEIN E ach new year, New Times likes to high- light what transpired over the past 365 days. This includes honoring the down- right objectionable Florida license plates drivers submitted to the state for approval. Thanks to the great work of the Florida Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles, each year New Times receives a detailed list of personalized license plate submissions that were denied by the state for being too obscene, objectionable, and at times appalling. The Inventory Control Unit is responsible for ensuring none of these insane license plate grace roadways. Otherwise, many drivers would be at risk of learning their fellow neighbors’ disturbing inner thoughts that they could never unsee. While some submissions are quite witty, some are just absolutely unsettling. From “Hawk Tuah Girl” superfans to the sex- obsessed to the MILF hunters, here are most of the unforgettable license plate submissions that were rejected in 2024. You can find the full list online at bit.ly/HAWK2AH. [email protected] 2024’S REJECTED LICENSE PLATES ▼ REPEAT OFFENDERS VIBR80R K11ER ▼ SELF AWARE AF UGLYAF SLIMAF L8TE AF QUIET AF P00R AF ▼ NOT WELL-ENDOWED LIL DIK SM0LL PP PECKER W1ENER ▼ HAWK TUAH GIRL HAWK2AH HWKTU H0K TUA HWK TLH HWKTU HAWK2AH HAK TUA HAUK 2A HAW KT0 HAWK 2UH HAWKTUH HUCK TUA HUK TUA HWK 2UA HWK 2UH HAWKTUUA HAWTUAH ▼ SEX-CRAZED BANG DIT CUM 4ME C0CKLVR HOL69 69SUM FUKMBD C0MIN PSY CAT FN-ING DILDH0E BUCKFUC 2GR1CUP EASY PSY ▼ HONORABLE MENTION IAM DUI LV M1LFS ILV M1LF P00P BUT SHIT 0NM SHT HED 02SEXYY FARTZ L1BTARD P5Y PWR
