8 JANUARY 4-10, 2024 miaminewtimes.com | browardpalmbeach.com NEW TIMES | MUSIC | CAFE | CULTURE | NIGHT+DAY | NEWS | LETTERS | CONTENTS | miaminewtimes.com MIAMI NEW TIMES | MUSIC | CAFE | FILM | ART | STAGE | NIGHT+DAY | METRO | RIPTIDE | LETTERS | CONTENTS | Katherine Colabella Erstwhile adult film star Katherine Colabella (AKA “Kitty Bella”) knows a thing or two about rear ends. In September, she allegedly plowed into a car that was stopped at a red light in Plantation, then drove off in her black Mercedes-Benz. In an incident report, the officer who caught up with her noted that she had “bloodshot watery eyes” and the smell of alco- hol on her breath and that she tearfully said she was unaware that she’d been involved in a crash. When asked to perform a roadside sobriety test, she allegedly replied, “I can do whatever you want. Jumping jacks. You want fucking toe touches?” Colabella, 34, was arrested and charged with DUI. Sad to say, Colabella was already familiar with the drill. Criminal and civil court records show she has been accused of causing at least four South Florida car crashes since 2016. In fact, at the time of the 2023 accident, she was on probation for running down a cyclist on the MacArthur Causeway two years earlier. She fled to her South Beach condo, where an observant valet called police after noticing her car’s dented hood and smashed wind- shield. The victim, a pastor, was placed in a medically induced coma for several weeks. Fortunately, no one was injured inthe Plantation mishap. Anthony DeFillipo A disconcerting question weighed on North Miami Beach residents’ minds as 2023 dawned: Where does our mayor live? Anthony DeFillipo claimed to reside in a cozy apartment within the city proper, but a complaint submitted to the Miami-Dade Commission on Ethics and Public Trust alleged that he resided in a swanky Davie manse miles outside the municipality, in violation of the city charter. The controversy led to a government deadlock. Commissioners refused to acknowledge DeFilippo as mayor and city business ground to a halt. For months, DeFillipo refused to step down — until he was arrested in May on voting misconduct charges (a separate issue related to votes he cast in North Miami Beach). Governor DeSantis swiftly stripped him of his title. But as the wheels of justice slowly grind on, the residents of North Miami Beach seem to be on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees stemming from the case. Alex Díaz de la Portilla Puncturing a political dynasty spanning three decades, at least four different elected offices, and more than a few scandals, Governor DeSantis suspended Alex Díaz de la Portilla from office in September after the Miami city commissioner was busted on charges of money laundering, bribery, and criminal conspiracy. The city hall veteran was handcuffed, jumpsuited, and jailed alongside lobbyist William W. Riley Jr. after state investigators determined that Riley had illegally funneled tens of thousands of dollars to DLP’s political committees from local multimillionaire power couple David and Leila Centner, who were seeking city approval to build a downtown sports complex for their private school, Centner Academy. (The Centners merited inclusion in the 2021 edition of the Dirty Dozen for their anti-vaxxing ways and all-around weirdness.) Maintaining his innocence, Díaz de la Portilla campaigned for re-election in Trump-esque fashion, buying Spanish-language ads lambasting the Broward County state attorney for indicting him. It didn’t work: Challenger Miguel Angel Gabela unseated DLP in November. Manny Diaz Jr. A former Miami-Dade high school teacher and baseball coach, Manny Diaz Jr. won a Republican seat in the Florida Senate in 2019, where he sponsored that body’s version of DeSantis’ controversial Stop the Wrongs to Our Kids and Employees (W.O.K.E.) Act. You know, the one a federal judge decimated in 2022 with the observation, “This is positively dystopian. It should go without saying that if liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” Anyhoo, by then, Diaz’s fealty had been rewarded by DeSantis, who appointed him to serve as the state’s 28th education commissioner. A COVID vaccine skeptic, Diaz kicked off 2023 by blocking the College Board from teaching its Advanced Placement course in Black history in Florida high schools. In August, he unveiled an “anti-woke” middle-school curriculum that includes the following ostensible pre-Civil War factoid: “Instruction includes how slaves developed skills which, in some instances, could be applied for their personal benefit.” He virtually guaranteed himself a place in this year’s Dirty Dozen a week later when he ducked a public forum on the new Black history standards at a Miami Gardens church.
