12 November 7 - 13, 2024 dallasobserver.com DALLAS OBSERVER Classified | MusiC | dish | Culture | unfair Park | Contents Want Free Bad Advice? Comedian Sammy Minsk types up shock value on the Katy Trail. BY DESIREE GUTIERREZ E very weekend the Katy Trail is flooded with Dal- lasites enjoying a ritualistic walk. It’s the one place people go to run their mouths more than their legs. For 20-something-year-olds, it’s a vi- tal, fully loaded yap session accompanied by problem-solving, overpriced beverages that ward off the Sunday scaries. It is also an excavation of all the mounting fallacies that come with adulthood. Lucky for Dallas, bodybuilder-turned-van-lifer-turned-typ- ist Samantha Minsk is sharing her wisdom for those in need. Minsk gives free bad advice most Saturday mornings on the Katy Trail. She’s solving Dallas’ existential crises one un- hinged paragraph at a time. “I just went out there on a whim, and everyone’s like, ‘I’ve never seen anything like this. This is the craziest thing on the Katy Trail,’” Minsk says. The Washington state native is a “privileged white girl giving bad advice to the underfortunate,” according to her Advice That’s Bad Instagram page. Dallas lured her with the trail’s walkability facade. “The first experience I had was my dream of ‘wake up and walk somewhere.’ What?! That’s so European,” she says. “That’s like every chick’s fantasy, you just walk in your back- yard, you take your longboard, or you go for a walk and you can walk to the coffee shop or walk you to Trader Joe’s.” Soon after her recent move, reality hit. “Now that I’m living here, I’m like, ‘Oh, it’s flat, the shit,’ and everyone is kind of basic,” the typist says. “I didn’t know that, but if you have friends, I think I can live anywhere.” On her birthday, July 27, Minsk launched Advice That’s Bad, a free service housed on the Katy Trail’s grass strip. The amateur typist dragged a portable table and a pink 1957 Smith-Corona Silent-Super manual typewriter out of her van onto the trail. It was her first time using the machine. “I had the idea, but I don’t like poetry,” the ill adviser says. “I’m kind of following the typewriter community, and every- one is doing poetry, and I don’t know dick about rhyming.” Her goal was to connect with people. She dusted off the 67-year-old typewriter to start building community one crappy piece of advice at a time. To her surprise, people lined up to pour out their hearts for her on-the-fly counsel. Minsk starts by asking people for their name, their prob- lems or what they are dealing with. She wants to know what’s really keeping them up at night. Turns out, Dallasites have similar issues. “It’s always the top three: relationship, number one, ca- reer and should I stay in Dallas or should I move? It’s always those three,” says Minsk. Then, she gets to work typing up a punchy paragraph that’s not to be taken literally. Just don’t rush her. She’s not Chat GPT. When she rips off the advice and hands it over, the reactions are nothing short of stunned and flabber- gasted. The shock and keepsake are a gift from her to you. “But this thing is you take away something,” she says. “You get to have a piece of paper with you, something that’s personal to you to take away. People love that shit.” The secret to Advice That’s Bad’s success is the key word: “Free.” A plain 8-by-11 paper saying “Free Bad Advice” sits on her table beckoning trail-walkers to spill their ailments. But When She’s Bad, She’s Better Sometimes, things get deep. Minsk took Advice That’s Bad on a one-stop tour to Georgia in September. A person suffer- ing from “serious PTSD” from his parents sought counsel. A cornered Minsk decided to go full-fledged unhinged. “I was like, ‘Go to Kilimanjaro, hire a woman that has big tits and then suck on them and then tell her to pretend to be your mom and fill that void that you’ve been missing from your parents.’ He loved it,” Minsk says. Minsk doesn’t think her advice is ever funny, but Katy Trailers love the shock value and the break from monotony. They repay her in tips and social media follows. “I’m doing something that I love doing, talking to people, getting their dirty, dirty stories, and just meeting so many people,” she says. Social aspects aside, Advice That’s Bad is a creative outlet for Minsk. The makeshift shrink had a short-lived, one- night, stand-up comedy career. Advice That’s Bad is a cre- ative process that’s pushing her beyond her comedic crutches. “I have weird references to things that I try like PTA moms,” Minsk says. “No one likes PTA moms. We need more than just ass and tit jokes. I feel like that’s sort of my crutch.” The multi-hyphenate is a Polaroid enthusiast. She’s toyed with the idea of offering instant prints with her advice. She’ll be introducing red flags with her advice. The red flag stamp on your take-home advice will speak for itself. Her universal bit of sound advice is for Dallas to break out of its basic, Lululemon-loving, bro in finance mold and try something new, she says. “Just do something,” Minsk says. “If you do anything dif- ferent, a little bit out of the ordinary, a little bit artistic, or giving to the community, not even giving, just doing some- thing like painting out on the Katy Trail, people would shit themselves.” Sammy Minsk You know you’re not gonna take any good advice anyway, so you might as well get some bad advice. ▼ Culture
