19 OctOber 10 - 16, 2024 dallasobserver.com DALLAS OBSERVER Classified | MusiC | dish | Culture | unfair Park | Contents Rock ‘N’ Roll Roll Call Dallas-Fort Worth band names do not disappoint: Here are 30 of the best. BY CARLY MAY GRAVLEY T here’s a lot of pressure involved in naming a band. The name has to be distinct and memora- ble while also speaking to the band’s style and values. A song can be written in a day, but a band name can take ages to pin down. Some artists in North Texas take their band-naming ethos to the next level by picking something a little more out there, a name that will stick in your brain before you’ve heard even one of their song,s. These bands don’t care if their names are “inappropriate” or “weird” or “impossible to Google.” All they care about is the art. The attention doesn’t hurt, either. Allison Janney In this day and age, there’s nothing braver than being virtu- ally un-Googleable. A search for “Allison Janney” will obvi- ously pull up the award-winning actress. You’ll have to specify to Google that you mean “Allison Janney Fort Worth band” before anything having to do with the screamo/pow- erviolence outfit pops up. There’s nothing more badass than being an enigma and having great music to better cultivate the mystique. That is par for the course for the members of this band, as guitarist Al Rios has been in other local bands such as Special Guest and TBA (which actually stands for “Too Bad, Asshole”). The Atomic Tanlines That is some sexy and dangerous imagery if we ever saw it. It makes us wonder how far we’d have to stand from a nuclear explosion for it to give us that summer glow rather than melting our faces. This Denton-based band combined punk, free-jazz and soul, a combination just as captivating as “atomic” and “tanlines.” BashForTheWorld Our recently-crowned Best Rapper is a local favorite, but he’s increasingly been living up to the “for the world” part of his name. He recently conquered the country on his “From Dal- las, With Love” tour and has amassed almost a million monthly listeners on Spotify. Bedhead This Dallas-based indie band was active 1991–98 and might have been the most ”indie” band of all time. There are count- less alternative subgeneres and subcultures, but very few where seemingly effortless messy hair isn’t a timeless fash- ion statement. Bukkake Moms Here is another utterly un-Googleable name, though it’s prob- ably safer now that most of the major porn sites have pulled out of Texas. Going off the name alone, we have to assume Bukkake Moms is the female counterpart to Gay Cum Daddies, with which it shares members: difficult to advertise on a marquee, but with a more feminine touch. Con the Baptist There’s a lot to unpack with this Dallas DJ’s stage name. It’s an obvious pun on the biblical figure John the Baptist, but the “con” gets us. Is it a noun that intends to call the process of baptism a con? Or is it a verb and the name is instructing us to con a member of the Baptist faith? We’re probably overthink- ing it and should stay focused on dancing. Cure for Paranoia This acclaimed local hip-hop group is doing what science won’t by taking a stand on everyday mental health issues. Sure, medicine is tackling more concrete mental illnesses like anxiety and depression, but Cure for Paranoia makes those of us who constantly feel like our friends are mad at us or spend all day fretting over whether we left the oven on feel like there may be hope. Deathray Davies This Dallas-based indie rock band’s name combines Ray Da- vies, lead vocalist of The Kinks, and a theoretical particle-ray weapon that frequently appears in science fiction. Frontman John Dufilho has used similar wordplay with his solo work, most notably with the title of his 2023 album John Buffalo. Denton Tarantinos To your average Denton film bro, the films of Quentin Tar- antino are the epitome of cool, but you can find a far less pre- tentious and self-indulgent brand of cool with this surf-rock quartet. Still, we cannot help but wonder whether “Denton Tarantino” is a better or worse name. Gay Cum Daddies This band’s name has previously had to be displayed on mar- quees as “GCD” given its unapologetic prurience. Members of this band have been in similarly named bands such as Buk- kake Moms, but if you prefer your experimental/noise music without the naughtiness, they also play in projects such as Flesh Narc and Cig Oasis. The Go-Go Rillas This Irving-based band delivers on exactly what their name promises: a great mix of surf- and garage-rock performed by musicians in gorilla costumes. The anonymous band mem- bers consists of Bingo, Bango, Bongo and Fred, all with their own hilarious backstories about partying with Jane Goodall, escaping the zoo and going to space. Their website even asks users’ permission to use “bananas” instead of cookies. Homewrecker and the Bedwetters A homewrecker we can handle. We could even tolerate a squad of bedwetters. But combine the two, and it’s just too much chaos to handle, which is exactly what this queer met- alcore band is going for. This unprecedented tumult is proba- bly why the Denton band simply goes by “homewrecker” now, and why they moved to Chicago earlier this year. Texas just couldn’t take it. Kaiju Queers This Denton band describes itself as “punk for strange beasts and freaks.” This obviously applies to kaijus, a Japanese collo- quial term for giant monsters like Godzilla and Mothra, but also the feeling of growing up queer in an intolerant society. It really makes you think, doesn’t it? This is probably the band’s exact intention and it’s obvious to everyone, but pretend we just dropped some mindblowing insight. Lardi B This project from Jenn Whitlock originally centered on body-positive parodies of Cardi B songs such as “Bodak Jello” (a play on “Bodak Yellow”) and “They Like That I’m Fat” (based on “I Like It”). Her work has received hundreds of millions of views online and has even earned recognition from Cardi herself. Whitlock is now using her newfound platform to push her original work. The Marked Men The Marked Men is an objectively cool name with a dangerous quality. We’re including this longstanding Denton-based punk band for another reason, though: Their frontman is named Mark Ryan. Get it? Mark? Liked Marked Men? We have no idea if this was intentional, but it delights us all the same. Meat Loaf The late Dallas-born rocker Meat Loaf, whose real name was Michael Lee Aday, was a theatrical performer known for albums such as the Bat Out of Hell trilogy and appear- ances in films The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Fight Club and Spice World. It’s ironic but also appropriately weird that his name was derived from such a basic dish. Nervous Curtains The name of this Dallas alternative rock band raises a lot of questions. What do the curtains have to fear? Should we be nervous as well? Someone needs to check in on those curtains. The Norah Jonestown Massacre This name has two different puns going for it and is an adven- ture to read. While bands like The Brian Jonestown Massacre have similarly alluded to the Jonestown mass suicide and Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones, The Norah Jonestown Mas- cara quite obviously involves local artist and the Univeristy of North Texas’s favorite recruitment tool Norah Jones. And of course, mascara. Vera “Velma” Hernandez ▼ Music Rosegarden Funeral Party have a dramatic name to match their sound. >> p20
