21 September 7 - 13, 2023 dallasobserver.com DALLAS OBSERVER Classified | MusiC | dish | Culture | unfair Park | Contents Give It a Rest, Bro The Jonas Broth- ers played Globe Life Field in Arlington on Wednesday and they overstayed their wel- come. BY CARLY MAY GRAVLEY T he Jonas Brothers brought their current tour — Five Al- bums. One Night. The World Tour. — to Globe Life Field in Arlington on Aug. 30., a sprawl- ing showcase of the beloved 2000s boy band’s almost 20-year run, celebrating ev- ery era of their career with segments dedi- cated to each of their albums. If you think this sounds a little familiar, you’re not the only one. This choice in scale and structure calls to mind another three-hour victory lap that came through Arlington this year with Taylor Swift’s Eras tour. But, the Jonas Brothers’ show differed in one major way. And it shouldn’t have hap- pened. The choice to perform for three hours was a grave miscalculation of their abilities. Don’t get us wrong: Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas are charismatic and engaging per- formers. This past April, we praised their se- cret show in Fort Worth, singling out their stage presence and ability to thrill fans with songs old and new. They still possess all of these strengths. But three hours is a long time to expect fans to keep up their energy and enthusi- asm. And we’re not saying it’s a big ask for the Jonas Brothers. It’s a big ask for anyone. With the exception of borderline cult lead- ers like Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, very few artists can captivate even their most pas- sionate fans for that long. And even pop deities can’t rely on devotion alone. Artists who get away with marathon shows also employ this thing called spectacle: elabo- rate sets, costumes, choreography and other shinies. The JoBros chose to dazzle their fans with a few saxophone solos, a spattering of impotent pyrotechnics and commercials for their brand endorsements during the inter- mission. (Word to the wise: The moment you realize you might need an intermission should also be the moment you step back and make some cuts.) Fans came out in droves to support the band and brought enthusiasm that seemed to know no bounds. The setlist, however, was extremely frontloaded, with most of their best loved, Disney-era hits such as “SOS” and “Year 3000” playing in the first half. As the hours went by, you could see the life leaving people’s eyes. Many opted to de- part at intermission, and a steady stream of fans filtered out over the remainder of the show, due to what we can only assume is their not knowing what they were getting into. (The band’s gaudy excess is even more hubristic and offensive considering Paul McCartney doesn’t even play that long. He’s Paul McCartney, and they’re not. Not even combined. They’re three-fourths of a Ringo, at best.) So what was good about the show? Here’s the truly tragic thing: a lot. The Jonases are still the same band that wowed us during an underplay just a few months ago, and there were several show- stopping moments. They surprised the crowd with a performance of “Play My Music” from their Disney Channel movie Camp Rock. Some may consider this a niche fandom in-joke, but anyone who grew up during that time is far more likely to know every word to “Play My Music” than “Waffle House.” The crowd also introduced some memo- rable moments of their own, including a proposal, a gender reveal and some quality kiss-cam moments. Our favorite moment, however, was cour- tesy of special guest Big Rob, who was brought onstage to perform his rap verse in “Burnin’ Up.” While the band’s former bodyguard’s endearingly random verse is cut from most radio edits, it’s become a nos- talgic fan favorite and the crowd went nuts when he came out. This delightful choice speaks to the truly enduring appeal of the Jonas Brothers. They’re not the kind of pop stars who are constantly reinventing themselves or put- ting on overly elaborate shows, but they do have a special relationship with longtime fans. They’ve been doing this long enough that they know exactly what to do to get them to cheer, cry and even laugh. They clearly know how to give people what they want. Now they need to work on leaving them wanting more. ▼ UPCOMING LOOKING FOR A HOME THE CREATOR OF THE MUSIC- MASHING THERE I RUINED IT CHANNEL HAS A BAND READY TO PERFORM HIS POPULAR INSTAGRAM TRACKS. ALL HE NEEDS IS A STAGE. BY DANNY GALLAGHER T hings have been pretty busy for There I Ruined It creator Dustin Ballad and his Dallas band of merry music manglers. For starters, he’s assembled a band of brass players, a pianist and vocalists that he plans to put on stage by the end of the year. He posted a preview of his ensemble performing a 1940s jazz cover of Snoop Dogg’s “Gin and Juice” complete with two vocalists, a trumpet player doing the “waaa waaaaas” and even a mega- phone-spouting singer doing the “mind on my money and my money on my mind” part in the whitest way possible. Ballard says he’s still talking with local venues about presenting a show, but he plans to have a date either in November of Decem- ber when one of his singers finishes a current tour. He and his troupe of music makers are in the middle of recording some of their cov- ers to help them pitch the show to venues. He hasn’t slowed up on producing more crammed song mashups and forced collabo- rations and compilations on his Instagram page, which has over 1.4 million followers. One of his latest entries should be of interest to those who con- sider themselves Texans. Bal- lard took the rhyme-spitting lyrics of Eminem’s “Rap God,” the 2013 single that holds the Guinness World Record for the “most words in a hit sin- gle,” and delivered them with the twang of King of the Hill’s Boomhauer. The vocals for Boomhauer’s rap comes from an AI programmer in South America whom Ballard uses to mix his songs. Ballard has done similar tracks, where country legend Hank Williams Jr. sings a country-fied cover of NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton” and rapper Snoop Dogg sings his “Gin and Juice” track to the melody for “The Bear Necessities” from Disney’s The Jungle Book. Ballard started his comedy music Insta- gram concept during the COVID outbreak with a polka cover of Lady Gaga’s “Shallow” that he says “literally came to me in a dream.” The track attracted more than 100,000 hits and launched his channel into a subscriber juggernaut that has won praise and even follows from big names such as Jack Black, Michael Bublé, Lin Manuel Mi- randa and members of The Roots. Following the recent death of actor Paul Reubens, best known as the lovable man- child Pee-wee Herman, Ballard shared his re- mix of The Champs’ “Tequila,” which Herman brought back to our consciousness in a scene in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, with the lyrics of Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust.” Reubens loved Ballard’s remake so much that he shared the clip on Pee-wee’s of- ficial Twitter page with a compliment: “But *nothing* is ‘ruined’ here, it’s TERRIFIC!” Carly May Gravley Nick, Kevin and Joe Jonas gave fans what they wanted (and then some) on Wednesday. | B-SIDES | ▼ Music Screenshot from Instagram Dustin Ballard’s latest forced music mashup on Instagram.
