8 July 31 - August 6, 2025 dallasobserver.com DALLAS OBSERVER Classified | MusiC | dish | Culture | unfair Park | Contents Clean Break Suggestions for the best places in Dallas to break up in public, because doing it over text is tired. BY ALEC SPICER Y ou don’t even have to take our admittedly snarky, cynical word for it — data has shown we live in one of the worst states for dating in the nation. It could be the changing cultural and po- litical landscape. Or the lack of horniness around here. Or the guys holding fish in their online dating profile photos who lie about being “moderate.” Whatever the reasons are, we wanted to know how daters could inevitably cut things off in a way that would benefit the rest of us with a little bit of public entertainment. So, we took to Instagram and Facebook to ask our readers for the best places in public to break up with someone — you’re welcome. Or we’re sorry. Naturally, predictable answers about breaking up over text or just straight-up ghosting someone filled the comments, and suddenly, the Dallas dating scene’s dismal reputation made so much sense. Sure, you could argue that breaking some- one’s heart in public is behavior that would be reserved for the worst people you know. And maybe you would be right — Ken and Angela Paxton recently took to the most public court of opinion (social media) to continue their clown-off by making their “biblical grounds” divorce everyone else’s problem. But we still loved watching that one. We aren’t the only ones who enjoy a front-row seat to a messy breakup. Jack Ruby’s Saloon chimed in on our post to make it known that their bartenders would enjoy watching love come undone in The West End. Miriam Cocina Latina at Klyde Warren Park apparently already takes notice of its patio’s propensity for at- tracting breakups. The suggestions weren’t reserved to bars and restaurants, though. A true love terrorist in the comments suggested the North Shore Trail in Flower Mound, and respectfully, if someone takes you all the way up there to end things, we aren’t sure they ever actu- ally liked you, let alone loved you. There were some truly in- sightful sugges- tions, though. And to be hon- est, if you break up with some- one at one of these spots listed below, your ex might be able to call you an asshole, but they can’t say you don’t have good taste. Ladylove Lounge and Sound When we think of this atmospheric favorite in Oak Cliff, we don’t exactly imagine it to be a scene where romance goes to die, es- pecially considering “love” is literally in the name. But, the bar itself hit the comments with a compelling argument: Anyone being broken up with can make the most out of the admittedly long bathroom lines by making friends while they wait — a perfect distraction to forget they were looking for a place to cry. What’s more, someone else in the comments mentioned that the Lady- love bathroom line is where they acciden- tally became someone’s side piece. So, maybe as quickly as love is lost, it can be found again here. Or at the very least, a re- bound. The State Fair of Texas This seems counterintuitive, given that a fair is typically thought of as a cute, old-fash- ioned date idea, but that’s actually why it works for breakups. If you’re optimistic (or just straight-up delusional) that you will re- main friends after going your separate ways, this is the move. Tickets alone cost $15-$25 each, and then there are the prices of cou- pons, parking and your dignity. It’s easier to forgive someone for breaking your heart af- ter they spent a couple of gas tanks’ worth of money so you can throat a corny dog and pet a couple of zooted llamas, right? You would only have a brief, three-week window to make this one happen, but if you’re insane enough to break up with someone in public to begin with, strategi- cally planning this months in advance is probably light work for you anyway. White Rock Lake It’s quiet (you can cry in peace), it’s huge (no one can see you cry from across the lake), and it’s picturesque at sunset (you’ll have a gorgeous, almost cinematic view to cry in front of). As one commenter noted, you can quite literally “walk it off” after- ward, too. Prepare yourself to be reminded that even birds are better at love than you are, though. The lake’s resident bald eagle couple, Nick and Nora, have been busy building their flock lately — the White Rock conservation team put it more elo- quently than we could by describing it as “increased breeding activity.” Taqueria El Si Hay Comfort food is a necessity in the aftermath of a breakup, so this Dallas taco staple is an obvious choice. Although, squeezing in a lit- tle heartbreak might sour a long-running in- ▼ Culture Kevin Brown stitution for you, so choose wisely with this one. For what it’s worth, though, tacos this good (we waited in the rain for them a while back) could probably induce a food coma to help make your breakup the next day’s prob- lem. As our readers noted, though, there’s usually a line, and it’s all outdoors, so you’ll have to wait until they call your order to break the news, or risk standing in awkward silence while your now-former significant other silently weeps. DPD Headquarters Um, as far as we know, breaking up with someone isn’t a criminal offense. Still, this seemed to be a popular answer among commenters. Depending on the reason for the breakup and the reactions of parties in- volved, causing a public disturbance right outside of the DPD’s home base might be the only way to guarantee a reasonable 911 call response time, we guess. Believe us when we say, though, there are plenty of cooler places in the Cedars to say you dumped someone at. Literally anywhere else, actually. ▼ SOCIAL MEDIA CREATORS HAVE TIME FOR DALLAS NORTH TEXAS CREATORS LIKE BRITTANY BROSKI AND KEITH LEE MADE THE PUBLICATION’S LIST OF MOST INFLUENTIAL INTERNET PERSONALITIES. BY CARLY MAY GRAVLEY T ime recently released its list of the 100 “most influential digital voices,” and as with any high-profile ranking, it’s rife with controversy. The list is filled with personalities across the political spectrum (like leftist commen- tator Hasan Piker and conservative pod- caster Joe Rogan) and various degrees of gravitas (like personal finance advisor Viv- ian Tu and “Hawk Tuah Girl” Hailey Welch). Discourse lightning rods, like Hannah Neeleman, are also listed. Her lifestyle brand, Ballerina Farm, is often accused of spreading alt-right “trad wife” propaganda. Haley Kalil, meanwhile, had her detractors calling for the guillotine after she made a Marie Antoinette-themed video on the Met Gala red carpet. There are burgeoning mainstream celeb- rities like Taylor Frankie Paul, the “mom- tok” mastermind and now-star of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and Alex Cooper, whose Call Her Daddy podcast boasts a ster- ling lineup of celebrity guests. What the list doesn’t have a lot of, how- ever, is North Texans — there are only three out of the 100 entries with notable ties to the area. Brittany Broski, the “Kombucha girl” turned multi-hyphenate with millions of social media followers, is a Dallas native we were happy to see make the cut. She’s one of the most prominent online pop cul- ture commentators and the host of numer- ous shows and podcasts, including satirical news broadcast The Broski Re- port, and celebrity talk show Royal Court. She also recently began releasing original music, a bona fide rite of passage for You- MIRIAM COCINA LATINA AT KLYDE WARREN PARK APPARENTLY ALREADY TAKES NOTICE OF ITS PATIO’S PROPENSITY FOR ATTRACTING BREAKUPS. The tired, crying children at the State Fair of Texas will probably drown out your partner’s tears.
