12 June 22 - 28, 2023 dallasobserver.com DALLAS OBSERVER Classified | MusiC | dish | Culture | unfair Park | Contents Bad Influence How to tell if your man is a secret Andrew Tate fan. BY VALERIE WHITE D allas is a notoriously terrible place to find a nice guy. It’s not us. TikTok has declared Big D a “dating dumpster.” If you’ve been single at any point in the last five years, you probably have at least one horror story: cheating, ghosting, stalking, punching holes in dry- wall, the “you’re ugly anyway” text you get after turning a guy down gently — the usual, sadly. It’s rough out here, and thanks to incel influencers it’s not getting better. Men aren’t doing well, like, statistically. Their mental health is declining, and ad- diction is on the rise. These real, complex problems require nuanced, systematic so- lutions. Be that as it may, this is the land of the free, and we don’t do things like that around here. Instead, we allow reactionary grifters to fill the void, and now men every- where are falling face-first into misogyny and blaming women and feminism for their problems. The “manosphere” is a term used to de- scribe a loosely connected network of on- line communities that focus on issues related to masculinity, men’s rights and gender dynamics. It is here that you will find some of the most violent, disgusting misogyny on the face of the planet. It’s where incels (short for “involuntary celi- bates”) are formed, where Jordan Peterson is taken seriously and where 12-year-old boys go to get red-pilled. This is the pri- mordial ooze that spawned the latest fig- urehead of the anti-feminist movement, Andrew Tate. Tate started out as a professional kick- boxer and MMA fighter and also appeared on the reality television show Big Brother in 2016. Ostensibly, the ebbing of his short- lived mainstream fame led him to his cur- rent gig. His rebrand as a sexist motivational speaker has proven highly lu- crative. In addition to a podcast on which he and his guests espouse every manner of sexist thought imaginable, he also runs “Hustler’s University” and “Welcome to The Real World.” These two websites sell online courses that claim to teach men how to transform themselves and make more money than they ever could at their water- cooler-centric, Office Space-ish beta, cubi- cled 9-to-5 jobs. Tate is a self-described misogynist who believes in male supremacy, defends do- mestic violence and believes that sexual assault is generally the fault of the victim. His abhorrent and archaic views on women have even garnered him a few fans in the Taliban. Selling his Top G lifestyle to angry, directionless men has afforded him two Ferraris, a Bugatti Chiron and a Romanian mansion from which he alleg- edly runs a sex trafficking operation. (He’s under house arrest for that now, by the way.) Absurd as this all may seem, mil- lions of men fall somewhere be- tween hanging on his every word to “Well, he is right about a few things.” Misogyny is a tale as old as time, so none of this ideology is new, but it does seem that what was once reserved for a dark, scary corner of the internet has wormed its way into the brain of the average Joe. As if dat- ing men wasn’t hard enough. You would think that Andrew Tate’s fans would be easy to spot, and many are, but Tate himself emphasizes politeness and poise during the pickup phase. So, if one of these covert agents wins you over and gets you out on a date, it’s important to keep an eye and an ear out for some subtle red flags and misogynist dog whis- tles. Pay close attention to these 10 things if you don’t want to find out six months down the line that your current boyfriend thinks that maybe women shouldn’t be al- lowed to drive. 1. “I think of myself as a high-value male.” If a guy considers himself “high value,” ... he probably isn’t. This term has been floating around the manosphere for ages, and hun- dreds of grifts are centered on the vague concept that being a traditional, successful man is the only way to happiness. Tate sells his version via the non-accredited Hustler’s University. A high-value man wants a sub- missive wife who doesn’t question his inher- ent authority. Send them a referral for a licensed appraisal. 2. “What is your body count?” This is a question that is often asked by in- secure men who believe a woman’s value is congruent with the number of sexual partners she has had. Tate encourages men to sleep with as many women as they can while looking down on women for not being pure and not impressionable enough. Serial killers have “body counts,” just saying. 3. He refers to women as “females.” A classic of the genre, and a massive ick. Men who call women “females” may as well wave a giant red flag wherever they go. Not only is it immature, but it’s also dehumaniz- ing and objectifying. It’s a way to make women seem as if they are a different spe- cies of human existing in opposition to men. It’s subtle but indicative of an insidious way of thinking. 4. “I don’t want to be stuck in The Matrix.” Here the classic film reference serves as a nod to a global conspiracy, one that is hell- bent on destroying masculinity and “femi- nizing men.” Tate refers to the matrix often, especially because it serves as a fantastic cop-out. Getting arrested for sex trafficking? Of course he didn’t do anything wrong; it’s just “The Matrix” trying to keep his ideas from spreading any further. Leave Keanu out of this. 5. “There is a lot of misandry these days.” Misandry is defined broadly as a hatred or prejudice against men. It’s a favorite term of men’s rights activists. People with brains know that it doesn’t exist in the way Tate fans like to think. Misandry, if anything, is a response to misogyny. Women don’t hate men for no reason, and men are certainly not oppressed by women. Your date may not say this term outright but listen for any “not all men” comments, or God forbid he starts talking about MeToo and the “epi- demic” of “false allegations” against men. Don’t leave your drink unattended around this man. 6. “You should really think about what you’re putting in your body.” Tate can go on for hours about his health habits and how much he works out, and, of course, he encourages his followers to lead a strict and disciplined “manly” life- style. These guys are always as fatphobic as they come, and they think they’re doing you a favor to point out that the pasta you just ordered will make you gain weight, like they’re your personal calorie calcula- tor. Give him a pasta wig and get out of there, sis. 7. “Looks and money are what’s important to women. It’s inherent.” This is something that the multitude of toxic masculinity podcasts like to talk about, a lot. Disregarding love or compati- bility entirely, they like to think that women are vain gold diggers by their very nature. They call it “hypergamous,” and if your date uses that word specifically, pre- tend like your cat died and call an Uber home immediately. 8. “I don’t do the friend zone.” Ah, the friend zone: such a ubiquitous term, a fantasy land that men believe exists as a “nice guy” purgatory. Tate teaches men that being friends with women is stupid, because God forbid you waste your time enjoying the company of a woman who is not going to sleep with you. If your date doesn’t have any platonic women friends, he might be a Tate fan. 9. “You’re lucky to be on a date with someone like me. I have a lot to offer.” Negging is highly encouraged by mano- sphere dating gurus. This is just a more confident version of the whole nice-guy spiel everyone has heard before. If you re- pel women even though you’re “a catch,” you may be the problem. If your date says anything to this effect, block his number. 10. “You’re pretty close to hitting the wall. Have you thought about your future?” “Hitting the wall” is a term that misogynists use to refer to women becoming less desir- able as they age. To Tate and the rest of the manosphere, women are highly perishable objects. Incel icons just love talking about walls. Andrea Campeanu/Getty Andrew Tate (far left) has made a nice living out of hating women. Your date could be a fan. ▼ Culture YOU WOULD THINK THAT ANDREW TATE’S FANS WOULD BE EASY TO SPOT ... BUT TATE HIMSELF EMPHASIZES POLITENESS AND POISE DURING THE PICKUP PHASE.
