17 April 30 - MAy 6, 2026 dallasobserver.com DALLAS OBSERVER Classified | MusiC | dish | Culture | unfair Park | Contents Merriam-Webster defines imposter syn- drome as “a psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concern- ing one’s abilities or accomplishments ac- companied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one’s ongoing suc- cess.” It was impossible not to notice that such “evidence” was hanging just above Lewis’ left shoulder on the Zoom call in the form of sev- eral gold and platinum record plaques for various Toadies and Burden Brothers efforts. They were visible as he explained, “I’ve had it my whole life, really. I’ll have days of ‘man, I kick ass at this. I’m a really good songwriter, and I’m a pretty good singer,’ and all this other stuff, but the next day or even later that day, I’m like ‘man, why do people pay money to see me? What a ripoff.’” As the patient listed these thoughts to his doctor, soon adding accounts of those whip- lash-inducing cuts from lethargy to produc- tivity and back again, the doctor narrowed in on a diagnosis: bipolar disorder. Lewis doubts it was something new; it’s just that he had never seen a professional about it. Once the singer began taking advantage of “modern chemistry,” he sensed its impact. “It wasn’t like I woke up chipper and shit, because that’s never going to happen,” he says. “But I did realize that the dark cloud had dissipated.” That clarity led to a new creative freedom and direction. For years, he had worried that prescriptions might take away the doom that he had tricked himself into believing he needed to be a successful artist. He didn’t want the edge of his creativity dulled or any sort of fountain to be switched off, some- thing he now says “is total bullshit.” The lyrics to The Charmer’s title track should quickly remind listeners of the un- settling, hair-raising stories from the band’s most-streamed songs. When you hear Lewis sing “Do you leave me, when you’re dream- ing?/ Do you feel me pressed to your side?/ I’m the liar, and feet to fire/ It’s only you that keeps me alive,” it’s nearly impossible not to think of the assailant in “Possum Kingdom” or the intruder in “Tyler.” But this song isn’t just another tale in which Lewis inserts a “fictional separation” between his psyche and the listener. “The Charmer” is a true-to-life account, ripped from Lewis’ everyday thoughts and placed on record for all to hear. “It’s specifically about how the darkness I had been feeling was following me, and I was trying to still be creative and trying to live with those two things together,” Lewis says. “It’s the darkness that is asking, ‘When you go to sleep, do you think about me,’ or when I have nice thoughts, that darkness says, ‘You’d be nothing if it weren’t for me.’” Perhaps the most shocking song on the re- cord, “Normal,” is also its least rocking. The shock comes not from the arrangement or some horror-style narrative, but from the way the lyrics detail rather ordinary things in a straightforward manner. On top of a Tom Petty-inspired, sing-along-ready arrange- ment. Lewis begins by casually singing, with- out any primal wailing, “I don’t wanna be angry/ I don’t wanna be sad/ I don’t wanna be sorry/ I just wanna be fucking normal.” It’s straight to the point, and straight from his own life, living with mental illness. It’s clear as a bell and something he says he was not even remotely capable of writing even a year or two before he finally did it. “No. Hell no. No way,” were his exact words when asked if he would’ve dared write a song so autobiographically vulnerable as “The Charmer” and “Normal,” before he sought treatment. “I thought, I’m really on meds because I want to just feel normal,” Lewis explains. “I’m doing all this because I just want to live a normal life. That’s it.” DOING WHAT THE TOADIES DO Another new thing is that the band self-fi- nanced the recording and is releasing it through Spaceflight Records, an Austin-based nonprofit label run by some of that city’s best rock musicians. Lewis says that even though some radio stations have added “The Charmer” to their playlists, he’s under no illu- sions of the new effort earning him more plati- num plaques for his wall. That’s probably not a realistic goal for his band in 2026. What is realistic, however, and what he and his band can do now and do again soon, as the money for another record is already set aside, is to make more Toadies records because Lewis likes records. He loves music and wants to keep making it. The haze he once felt, whether it be from unchecked bi- polar disorder or from the surreal weirdness of the pandemic, has lifted, and Lewis is do- ing what he can to keep it so. At this point in his life, and in the long, winding life of his band, simply making something because he can and wants to is as profound and triumphant as anything can be in 2026. “I want to put an album out, I want to have it out on vinyl,” Lewis says. “That has always been the most fulfilling part. Hearing this stuff turn into a real thing. From the very start, even with Rubberneck, I was like, ‘even if we get dropped tomorrow, I’ll still have the record I wanted to make.’” If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or chat via 988lifeline.org for free, confidential support 24/7. Mike Brooks The lyrics from “Normal” reference Vaden’s battle with mental illness. SAINT VALENTINE + RAINBOWCAT D
