Non-Glam Rock from p17 practicing at a neighbor’s house after the kids went to bed so as not to wake them, equipped with baby monitors and a keen, motherly sense of when to run back home, soothe a fussy toddler back to sleep, lock the door and head back to practice (rinse and re- peat). But kids don’t have to live on this side of the womb to interrupt a mom’s musical am- bitions. Jennifer Sturges, a 35-week preg- nant music promoter and frontwoman of alt-rock band Ex-Regrets, says she’s still played the same number of shows since get- ting a baby bump but sits down during band practice these days. “It’s very different when you’re pregnant,” she says. “I feel like, you know, the character in Charlie and the Choc- olate Factory who becomes a blueberry.” Sturges even has a half serious bet going on whether she’ll go into labor at their 45-minute set May 7 at Double Wide, as she’ll be hitting the last stretch of her 9-month baby-making journey. “I’ve got the hospital bag packed and in the car,” she says, letting this potential reality sink in. “It’s a lot of activity. There’s going to be a lot of oxyto- cin released.” S HIGHWAY BLUES ometimes this level of hard work pays off in a very big, commercially successful way, making time away from home inevitable. That’s been the case for Midlake’s Jesse Chandler, who shares custody of his two kids — 11-year-old Nico and 9-year-old Harper. Chandler says he felt tremendous guilt while touring when his children were in their baby and toddler years. “You’re just like, ‘What am I doing? I’m going out and just, you know, playing these shows for peo- ple, and it seems like we’re living this super glamorous life,’ when in reality my mind is only half there,” he says. “I’m just thinking about the kids and the moments that I’m missing and moments I could be helping out. So there’s a lot of convincing yourself that what you’re doing is OK and right.” Last month, Midlake released their first album in nine years, For The Sake of Bethel Woods, and spent two weeks on tour in Eu- rope earlier this month. Chandler says tour- ing is a little easier now that his kids are older, thanks to FaceTime and texting. Al- though with budding preteens, he says, he has to initiate conversations a little more these days. But marriage and a baby carriage are only two of oodles of reasons why someone’s ca- reer and lifestyle may shift dramatically. Sandlin says it’s a big factor in why he de- cided to start Raised Right Men. “Getting married and all that stuff be- comes, like, well your priorities change,” Sandlin says. “The idea of going out every weekend and being away just got less and less exciting.” Before Raised Right Men, Sandlin, who 18 18 lives in Denton, was out of town, loading up in a van and playing shows as far away as West Texas on a regular basis. “Eventually, this idea came up of, you know, maybe we should start our own thing, and we could stay in town, make money and I could sleep in my own bed. Because that just became Kathy Tran more of a priority,” he says. Raised Right Men celebrated their eighth anniversary in January, and Sandlin’s son Willie turns 8 in June. “You know, no big co- incidence there,” he says with a laugh. Fleming says the days and weeks spent away from home and being “FaceTime Dad” are certainly hard enough, but being on the road in a rock band after starting a family feels different in many ways: “You can’t act like a complete fucking idiot [on tour], you know? It’s like, can I come home and look my baby in the eye and be like, ‘Did I do the right thing?’” FAN BASE weekly listener-curated The Paul Slavens Show on Sunday nights on 97.1 KXT, is a key- board and piano virtuoso, a composer, the lead vocalist and keyboardist for rock band Ten Hands, has his debut solo album, Alpha- bet Girls Vol.2, coming out May 20 (with an album reveal show May 22 at Magnolia Lounge at Fair Park) and occasionally holds a comedic impromptu music gig at Dan’s Sil- verleaf. But despite how cool we think he is, he P has a 13-year-old son with his own musical ambitions and interest — and it doesn’t al- ways include him. “Gus has a polite interest in what I do,” Slavens says of his son. “But he is so involved in his own music creation.” Slavens’ time with Gus these days is spe- cial because he says since his life has slowed down a bit from the early days of Ten Hands, he’s able to spend more time with him. Slavens also has an adult daughter, Maddie, who is a dental assistant. Slavens says he didn’t spend as much time with his daughter during those first years, and he apologizes often to Maddie. aul Slavens is undoubtedly one of North Texas’ most notable and ac- complished musicians. He hosts the “I was an idiot. I was young and busy and had people telling me I’m gonna be a rock- star. … And I’m all thinking about myself. And I’m stupid, you know,” he says of Mad- die’s childhood years. Gus spends about two or three days a week with his dad and the rest with his mom. During his time with Gus, Slavens says that rather than take his son to a bunch of concerts, as one may expect of such a mu- sical man about town, they explore the woods near his house, go on walks or play whatever video game Gus is into at the time. “On some nights he likes to make music in his room when I’m sleeping and I always find that comforting,” Gus says. “I’ve always, probably unfortunately, but I’ve always kept a bit of a wall between my family life and my artistic life,” Slavens says. “[And] I am very much of the mind of not pushing a kid to play music, if they just don’t really have it on their own.” Despite his lack of pressure, Gus has shown a tremendous interest in music. He recalls excitedly exploring his dad’s record collection when he was younger, and hear- ing Syro by Aphex Twin for the first time in the car, which has remained a favorite for the teen who has started making music of his own. Slavens says: “He’s kind of branching out, and getting into programming synthesizers and writing in pitches and chords and stuff. He works more in the realm of timbre and rhythm and pitches … [But] he’s not like me. He’s not an attention hound. He’s not a the- ater boy.” Maybe not, but we’ll keep an ear out for him, anyway. Keite Young, frontman for Medicine Man Revival, one of Dallas’ favorite R&B bands, is undoubtedly one of the coolest performers in the city. But Young still has a bit of a critic in his teenage son, also named Keite — as most parents of teenagers do. DJ Christy Ray spends weekdays with her son and performs on the weekend. “He’s 16. I’m cool, but I’m still his dad. I’m only cool when he sees everybody else thinking I’m cool,” Keite Sr. says with a laugh. But Keite Jr., who lives with his mother in Tulsa, does have his own musical interests as a trumpet player in his high school’s marching band. When he was 10 years old, he saw his dad perform for the first time. It was at RBC in Deep Ellum. “I could imagine he probably saw a whole other person,” Keite says. And being the showman he is on stage, it’s understandable that his son saw him in a foreign way that night. “I think there was a certain time where he was a little intimidated by what I did. And it kind of made him a little bit gun-shy,” Keite Sr. says. But now, he’s embracing his own creativity. “I think he just liked how he felt when he expressed himself on a trum- pet, and he’s kind of on the path of forming his own little love.” But Keite Sr.’s affect has not gone unnoticed by his son. “Having a dad who is a musician is life-changing for me,” Keite Jr. says. He re- members his dad pulling him up to the stage one night to sing the last lyric of “Dem Don’t Know” in front of more than a hundred peo- ple. “I will never forget that night,” he says. But plenty of musicians have kids explor- ing entirely different hobbies than their own. Lauren Upshaw has spent almost 20 years playing in The Hope Trust with her brother Kelly and recently teamed up with Chelsey Danielle of Helium Queens to form Side Chicks. She has a son, Luke, and step- son, Andrew, who primarily live with their other parents. Upshaw, who was married to Andrew’s mother until her death in 2019, says that while he is a great baseball player, Luke is more of a performer. MONTH XX–MONTH XX, 2014 APRIL 28–MAY 4, 2022 DALLAS OBSERVER DALLAS OBSERVER | CLASSIFIED | MUSIC | DISH | MOVIES | CULTURE | NIGHT+DAY | FEATURE | SCHUTZE | UNFAIR PARK | CONTENTS | CLASSIFIED | MUSIC | DISH | CULTURE | UNFAIR PARK | CONTENTS dallasobserver.comdallasobserver.com
