17 April 24 - 30, 2025 dallasobserver.com DALLAS OBSERVER Classified | MusiC | dish | Culture | unfair Park | Contents who asked was very drunk. I like to imagine that when they sobered up, they were con- fused as to who the photo was with.) By the time Goldee’s opens at 11 a.m., there may be another 200 people in line behind us, and not all of them are going to get brisket. That’s the sad reality of the exclusive barbe- cue situation, I’m afraid. I advise you to arrive at Goldee’s by 9:30 a.m. at the latest, as that’s when the line starts multiplying in length. We are served around 11:20 a.m., which, given there were at most six groups ahead of us, makes me wonder what time the people at the back will even see the remaining scraps. I will say, having seen Terry Black’s Disneyworld of barbecue in downtown Aus- tin, there must be a way we can speed up the barbecue lines. I know this is a whole philo- sophical discussion about customer service (and, more controversially, creating long lines), but the number of barbecue places with 50 people in line and one person chop- ping meat … anyway, I digress. Goldee’s is one of the finest meals of my life. The brisket, which the staff tells us is made with USDA Choice (so not even Prime!), is obscene — juicy, earthy, smoky, redolent with fat, the best I have ever tasted. Vaughn makes everyone a little sandwich using Goldee’s homemade bread (no shop- bought white loaves here). It’s outrageous. But you know what is truly transcendent? The Laotian sausage, with a bit of sticky rice, and the jeow som sauce on it. That goes from “incredible barbecue” into “something I have never tasted before and might not have the words to properly describe.” Many places take barbecue and try to do something else with it — this is a particular problem in the UK, where to hide bad beef places will often put it in a ramen, or a taco (don’t get me started on Mexican food in the UK), but to take some of the finest barbecue and somehow elevate it even further using flavours alien to barbecue? Well, that is something truly rare. Oh, yes, and the ribs are just ridiculous too. Drive to Goldee’s. We had planned to go into Fort Worth and visit Sabar BBQ after this, but the high of the meal and the post-beef crash have truly ended all of us. I retire to my hotel for another beef-induced lie-down. Eventually, I make it back out to Deep El- lum, but the lust for food is gone. How can I go on after that? I spend the rest of the eve- ning drinking frozen Irish coffees to forget, and I take dinner at Angry Dog just so one of our party can have wings before we leave Dallas. They are very good wings. SUNDAY It’s time to leave Dallas and swear off beef for a month. On the way out, we breakfast at Waffle House, because Waffle House is truly the Lord’s own restaurant, and I miss it more than I can tell you. If they could just send one Waffle House to Europe, I would happily run it. (Just in case the WH bigwigs are reading.) Unfortunately, we go to the one in Waxahachie, and the first table we en- counter has two people wearing “Let’s Go Brandon” T-shirts with a Punisher logo in the middle. Edgy! I bet people are im- pressed! Finally, on the way back to Austin, the beaver wins. We stop at Buc-ee’s. What a ti- tanic shrine to capitalism. Someone drew a cartoon of a beaver and just decided to make every imaginable bit of merch with this bea- ver’s face on it. My favourite thing is the gas pump beverage dispenser. I can’t fit it in my luggage, but if any of you would like to send it to me, I’ll pay handsomely. We even get a photo with Buc-ee himself. So what have I learned from my whistle- stop beef reunion tour? Well, I’ve learned that I’m going to spend the next few years re-creating that meme of Wolverine looking sadly at a photo, but the photo will be of Goldee’s. I’ve also learned that bringing tourists to Dallas when the weather is too cold to be outside is a tough sell, especially if they’re middlingly interested in beef. Have I erred? Yes, but to err is human. To produce barbecue like places in Dallas do is divine. Gavin Cleaver Texas Monthly BBQ Editor Daniel Vaughn Gavin Cleaver No Texas trip is complete without a stop at Buc-ees. SCAN HERE TO ENTER TO WIN TICKETS
